Most people are able to go through life without ever having to really mention or think about their gender. Everyone immediately just knows that they are what they are, they never even have to say. Trans people on the other hand often don't have this convenience, and that means that if we want to be acknowledged for who we really are, we have to explicitly tell people. I don't exactly pass for female, so when I go to a job interview, if I want to be referred to as a woman, I have to specifically ask. Generally, people are pretty nice about it, but they usually forget and slip up a lot. If I'm working in a customer facing job, I'll get called sir upwards of 10 times a day, and when I go home at night, that fucking hurts. I'm not mad at them. It's not their fault. It still just hurts. It feels like a denial and erasure of who I am. It's temporary of course, but it adds up over time.
I know there are definitely some people out there who like making everything about their gender. Most of us don't. We're the same as people who aren't trans, but we've been cursed with this misfortune, and in order to feel like ourselves, we sadly have to tell people that we're trans because otherwise, we'll just be treated as our birth sex. That sucks. I don't want anyone in real life to know. My goal is to be able to walk in a room and have nobody question that I was ever born anything other than female. I don't think it's unachievable, but in the meantime I'm in this limbo situation that's pretty scary and painful.
I was drunk when I wrote that post the other night, but generally the issues I face are the result of my not passing as female, not so much the malice of other people. Most people are at the very least cordial to me, even if they don't agree with my decisions. Some people are dicks about it though, and it's still pretty scary because I know that among a group of 100 people, there's probably at least a couple that are crazy.
tldr I don't want to make anything about me being trans. I'm a woman who was born as male. It hurts to be constantly referred to and treated as a guy, and if I want otherwise, I have to say something. Having to say something sucks, and it's where all the problems come in. The health issues I mentioned were unrelated to being trans. I've just put my body through a lot.
