Damn right I run the show. My follicles detect tiny sonic vibrations in the air which can be utilised to fine tune mixes into perfect piliferous symphonies of aggression. Your secrets are no longer safe CJ, the beard has been unleashed.
A bit too much Phil. She's getting too close. You have to smother her with me - it's the only way.
I am a very nice and diplomatic beard, and I make lots of friends this way.
I'm taking over Phil, soon there will be all Beardy and no Phil, it's all part of the plan, you are the human life support system for my earthly conquest, a conquest in hair and fear.