- Sep 13, 2002
- 831
- 6
- 18
women jokes, i must warn you, some of th ejokes is not so funny, and i have translated them from swedish: (but it wasn't me who mad them up, i'm glad for that)
50 reasons it's better to be a man:
1.You can tell a joke.
2.You can understand jokes.
3.You can walk topless in Tunisia without being stoned.
4.You can jump into bed with women
5.It is expected that you moon when riding a bus.
6.You can scratch your genitals in public
7.You don't have to breast feed.
8.You know exactly what curtains you want. They're in the nearest curtainshop.
9.Your mom will always love you, whatever happens.
10.The chance to get a blowjob is greater than give one.
11.You have only a couple of acceptable haircuts to choose from.
12.And the older you get the less hair you have to worry of.
13.You know how to use the VCR.
14.The world is ruled by men.
15.And yuo live in it.
16.Your friends understands the "offside" rule.
17.You don't need to shave your legs, Unless you're in the national team of swimming.
18.You can stand up and urinate.
19.You are not risking to grown up and be like Birgitta Dahl (swedish joke I know)
20.You don't need to grow up at all!
21.Your shoes is comfortable.
22.Yuo can get kids without changing your closet's content.
23.You don't need to wear spandex.
24.You don't need to care about showering, shaving, and iron your clothes, beyond any danger to be called eccentric.
25.You don't need to sleep with your boss...unless you want to
26.You can puke in public.
27.Your breasts hasn't moved down to your pants when you're eighty.
28.You can become manager.
29.Or a professional football player.
30.Or a soldier and discover that everybody loves a man in a uniform.
31.You know that a Mercedes from -72 is not "just a car".
32.You can open a jar of jam.
33.You don't see it moraly wrong to spend tremendous amounts of money on black merchandise and services.
34.You don't cry, if not your favorite football team goes down in the series.
35.You don't need to throw things just because they're not new anymore.
36.When the weather is good is the women almost naked.
37.You can smoke in the arabian countries.
38.Your life will never be ruled by chocolate...
39....or when they show an episode of "Oprah" (it was Rederiet in the original swedish)
40.Varje Pressbyrå är full av potentiella partners. Förutsatt att man når upp till översta hyllan och "Mest för Honom"-mapparna. ( i couldn't translate that)
41.If you have five different bedpartners in a week you can regard as succesful and not abandoned.
42.All your clothes is washable in 40 degree Celsius.
43.You know that if dirty plates lies in water a couple of days they almost clean themselves.
44.Cellulite, what is that?
45.You can see the difference between a bass and a guitar.
46.You know why the right CD is lying in the right case.
47.You can watch several tv-shows at the same time.
48.You know that Victoria Silvstedt's surname isn't Silverstedt (Victoria SIlvstedt is a swedish pornstar)
49.When the clock is eight, you can suddenly decide to go at a party and be ready at five past.
50.If anyone doesn't like you, it's their problem.
I hope none of the women here is being offended by this :s
50 reasons it's better to be a man:
1.You can tell a joke.
2.You can understand jokes.
3.You can walk topless in Tunisia without being stoned.
4.You can jump into bed with women
5.It is expected that you moon when riding a bus.
6.You can scratch your genitals in public
7.You don't have to breast feed.
8.You know exactly what curtains you want. They're in the nearest curtainshop.
9.Your mom will always love you, whatever happens.
10.The chance to get a blowjob is greater than give one.
11.You have only a couple of acceptable haircuts to choose from.
12.And the older you get the less hair you have to worry of.
13.You know how to use the VCR.
14.The world is ruled by men.
15.And yuo live in it.
16.Your friends understands the "offside" rule.
17.You don't need to shave your legs, Unless you're in the national team of swimming.
18.You can stand up and urinate.
19.You are not risking to grown up and be like Birgitta Dahl (swedish joke I know)
20.You don't need to grow up at all!
21.Your shoes is comfortable.
22.Yuo can get kids without changing your closet's content.
23.You don't need to wear spandex.
24.You don't need to care about showering, shaving, and iron your clothes, beyond any danger to be called eccentric.
25.You don't need to sleep with your boss...unless you want to
26.You can puke in public.
27.Your breasts hasn't moved down to your pants when you're eighty.
28.You can become manager.
29.Or a professional football player.
30.Or a soldier and discover that everybody loves a man in a uniform.
31.You know that a Mercedes from -72 is not "just a car".
32.You can open a jar of jam.
33.You don't see it moraly wrong to spend tremendous amounts of money on black merchandise and services.
34.You don't cry, if not your favorite football team goes down in the series.
35.You don't need to throw things just because they're not new anymore.
36.When the weather is good is the women almost naked.
37.You can smoke in the arabian countries.
38.Your life will never be ruled by chocolate...
39....or when they show an episode of "Oprah" (it was Rederiet in the original swedish)
40.Varje Pressbyrå är full av potentiella partners. Förutsatt att man når upp till översta hyllan och "Mest för Honom"-mapparna. ( i couldn't translate that)
41.If you have five different bedpartners in a week you can regard as succesful and not abandoned.
42.All your clothes is washable in 40 degree Celsius.
43.You know that if dirty plates lies in water a couple of days they almost clean themselves.
44.Cellulite, what is that?
45.You can see the difference between a bass and a guitar.
46.You know why the right CD is lying in the right case.
47.You can watch several tv-shows at the same time.
48.You know that Victoria Silvstedt's surname isn't Silverstedt (Victoria SIlvstedt is a swedish pornstar)
49.When the clock is eight, you can suddenly decide to go at a party and be ready at five past.
50.If anyone doesn't like you, it's their problem.
I hope none of the women here is being offended by this :s
