My friend just wrote this story about me. thought you idoits would like to read it. 
:Spin: So, I was talking to Fatticus/Frankie/Fat/Tubbs/(insert fat reference here/Metal Monger about the new job he might get. He would be traveling around Illinois collecting burnt items and interviewing familes about fires that have ravaged their home. First, how does Frank even get in line for this job, second off, Frank interviewing people who just had there homes burnt down, yeah that would be the best hire ever. So, here's Frankie at his new job.
First he's pissed off because he has to travel to ridiculous dinky little towns and as we all know Frank's sense of direction isn't the keenest a la E. St. Louis story. The only thing that would lead him to the right place is his innate ability to sense death and destruction which would be the fire that had just ravaged someone's home. So, Frankie would arrive at the burnt down home with White Castle and Krispy Kreme in hand with his Flyin' V guitar strapped around him and little mini amp attached to his belt. He would play theme music while he walks up to the front door and during the entire interview process, playing death metal for when fire, burning, death, lanfs, blood, guts, ravaging, or any destructive type words are said.
"So ma'am was anyone hurt in the blaze?"
Ma'am- "yes, we lost our pet hamster"
Frankie- "sweet, I had a pet hamster once and when he died we gave him a viking burial, too bad we couldn't do that with yours. How did the fire start?"
Ma'am- "It was an electrical fire that started in the living room."
Frankie- "Wicked, were you in the living room when it happened? Did you see the wall go up in flames and did you whirl bang in front of it while growling and video taping it? I would have."
Ma'am- "No, I wasn't in the room and what is whirlbanging?"
Frankie- "I'll show you" Frankie devours the Krispy Kreme and White Castle in hand and plays a wicked riff and whirl bangs.
Ma'am- "Is there anything else you need to know sir?"
Frankie- "Yeah, were there any hot dogs in your fridge at the time of the fire. I love lanfs. And can you demonstrate for us your home going up in sweet, wicked flames by burning the house next door down for me. I need to see a re-creation, that's how my mind works and why I'm so good at my job. Ma'am, I'm a fire official, you're going to have to do what I tell, now burn the fucking house down before I go medieval on your ass. They don't call this guitar an ax for nothing you know. NUGGA!"
After the women lights the house next door on fire, Frankie proceeds to watch in delight and play wicked guitar, write lyrics and whirl bang in the front lawn. Upon, the house burning Frankie does his job and interviews the family next door and thus setting off a chain reaction of ARSON and destruction of an entire town, eventually leading to the destruction of Illinois and then THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frankie= Metal Personified.
NEGRODAMUS AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME, BITCHES! :Spin:
:Spin: So, I was talking to Fatticus/Frankie/Fat/Tubbs/(insert fat reference here/Metal Monger about the new job he might get. He would be traveling around Illinois collecting burnt items and interviewing familes about fires that have ravaged their home. First, how does Frank even get in line for this job, second off, Frank interviewing people who just had there homes burnt down, yeah that would be the best hire ever. So, here's Frankie at his new job.
First he's pissed off because he has to travel to ridiculous dinky little towns and as we all know Frank's sense of direction isn't the keenest a la E. St. Louis story. The only thing that would lead him to the right place is his innate ability to sense death and destruction which would be the fire that had just ravaged someone's home. So, Frankie would arrive at the burnt down home with White Castle and Krispy Kreme in hand with his Flyin' V guitar strapped around him and little mini amp attached to his belt. He would play theme music while he walks up to the front door and during the entire interview process, playing death metal for when fire, burning, death, lanfs, blood, guts, ravaging, or any destructive type words are said.
"So ma'am was anyone hurt in the blaze?"
Ma'am- "yes, we lost our pet hamster"
Frankie- "sweet, I had a pet hamster once and when he died we gave him a viking burial, too bad we couldn't do that with yours. How did the fire start?"
Ma'am- "It was an electrical fire that started in the living room."
Frankie- "Wicked, were you in the living room when it happened? Did you see the wall go up in flames and did you whirl bang in front of it while growling and video taping it? I would have."
Ma'am- "No, I wasn't in the room and what is whirlbanging?"
Frankie- "I'll show you" Frankie devours the Krispy Kreme and White Castle in hand and plays a wicked riff and whirl bangs.
Ma'am- "Is there anything else you need to know sir?"
Frankie- "Yeah, were there any hot dogs in your fridge at the time of the fire. I love lanfs. And can you demonstrate for us your home going up in sweet, wicked flames by burning the house next door down for me. I need to see a re-creation, that's how my mind works and why I'm so good at my job. Ma'am, I'm a fire official, you're going to have to do what I tell, now burn the fucking house down before I go medieval on your ass. They don't call this guitar an ax for nothing you know. NUGGA!"
After the women lights the house next door on fire, Frankie proceeds to watch in delight and play wicked guitar, write lyrics and whirl bang in the front lawn. Upon, the house burning Frankie does his job and interviews the family next door and thus setting off a chain reaction of ARSON and destruction of an entire town, eventually leading to the destruction of Illinois and then THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frankie= Metal Personified.
NEGRODAMUS AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME, BITCHES! :Spin:
