ahahaha this is one of the best Onion things I've seen recently

[xfer]

Atari Releases Updated Adventure Video Game

 

[minxnim]

i know! that is so funny, i used to think that game was SO AWESOME but really it's like, two little squares and a pixelated dragon haha

 

[goatschool]

the original adventure did crazy things to me when i was a kid.

back then the box art had a big influence on how i felt about the game.

i spent hours trying to get the "secret" to work

 

[xfer]

toby and i told tales to each other of fictional-coloured dragons and castles and then were stumped when the other person began claiming to have encountered them, also.

 

[goatschool]

a few years later venture was mildly disappointing yet very frustrating but still somewhat charming to a 13 yr old due to barely-earned nostalgia/sketchy name association

 

[xfer]

venture was awesome, except for the fact that the protagonist was named winky.

 

[Josh Seipp]

Ad Venture didn't do quite as well as the other two games