anyone know anything about cars?

[Demilich]

My dad drives a 2003 Acura TL-S. It won't start tonight, battery seems completely fucked. No headlights, no keyless entry, no engine noise, nothing. So that's ok, we figure we'll just roll it back out of the garage because there's a wooden structure that prevents him from opening the hood while it's in the garage. But NO. Fucker won't even shift out of park. Anyone know why?

 

[Birkenau]

Handbrake?

 

[lurch70]

not sure ... does it have an alarm?
something is protecting the gearshifter ...

you should be able to shift ...
I assume you have the key in the ignition and on accessory at least before attempting to shift

 

[Demilich]

yea, we did fuck it. just means i have no weed for the first time in like 7 months

 

[lurch70]

how is Toronto this time of the year ... might have to take a trip up there to visit an old friend

 

[AsModEe]

your dad has a very nice car. Too bad it broke though

 

[lurch70]

doesn't Acura offer 24 hour roadside assistance for this ... you should still be under warranty

 

[Demilich]

yeah but it's midnight and i just wanted to go pick up weed so it's not really important.

and, Toronto's cold, ugly, rainy, wet, slushy, icy, slippery, and not good this time of year. it's never good for too long. too hot, or too cold. i prefer too cold.

 

[lurch70]

will wait till about May then ... hehe

 

[NAD]

hahaha the premise of this thread fucking rules.

there's probably a shift lockout thingy on the transmission, there should be a tiny button or switch near the shifter, check the owner's manual and it should tell you how to do it. it's generally like one of them buttons you need a ballpoint pen to reach. one more reason not to drive a bullshit automatic.

edit: course as to why it's stuck to begin with, no idea.

 

[Demilich]

ok, my dad figured it out from the manual. when the battery dies, apparently the gear shift locks up as some kind of security feature (wtf?) and you need to press something with a screwdriver to make it unlock. but we're not doing it til tomorrow. so i'm sober. so it's DRINKING TIME!!!!!!!1

 

[NAD]

didn't i just say that?

 

[dorian gray]

good job NAD.
so why was the battery burned out on a 2 year old car? whatd you leave on? im surprised it doesnt have some kinda battery-rundown-protection thing.
hope it turns out well.

 

[Demilich]

the goddamn battery cable had fallen off. he just bought the car used a couple of days ago, so we got a little scare off of that whole incident, but once he finally rolled 'er out of the garage and went to jumpstart it, there was no need.

still have no weed though. and i think i was way too used to it anyway, 'cause it took me fucking 4 hours to fall asleep.

 

[Demilich]

didn't i just say that?

shhh!

 

[dorian gray]

ahh, yeah, used cars will invariably have something wierd wrong with them the moment you get them home. usually its something simple like a battery cable falling off.

 

[Demilich]

ah well, it's fine now, and that's good, 'cause it seems like a pretty decent car.

 

[Nate The Great]

I thought you might need to change the air in the tires. That usually messes everything up . . . old air.

 

[lurch70]

LOL

 

[Demilich]

lurch, your avatar rules. i mean, look at the fuckin guy