- May 9, 2001
- 2,794
- 1
- 0
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
NOTE: This application will be deemed incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, and current
medical report.
NAME:_______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH_______________________
HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT____________ IQ________________
TAX FILE NUMBER #___________________ DRIVER'S LICENSE #___________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES___________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS___________________ CITY/STATE______________ POSTCODE______
Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent? if NO, please
explain
_________________________________________________________________________
Number of years parents married___________ If less then your age, explain.
________________________________________________________________________
Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tyres? _______
A waterbed?______ A pickup with a mattress in the back?_____
Do you have earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or tattoo?_____
(IF YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?__________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?_______________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?____________________________________________________________________________________________
Church you attend_____________________
How often do you attend_______________
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and pastor?_____
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential (that means I won't tell anyone, EVER)
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be in the _________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ___________
C. A woman's place is in the ___________________________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask about is _________
E. When I meet a girl, the thing I notice first is _____________________
(IF ANSWER "E" BEGINS WITH A "T" OR "A", DISCONTINUE, LEAVE PREMISES, KEEPING YOUR HEAD LOW AND RUNNING IN A SERPIRINE FASHION IS ADVISED.)
What do you want to be IF you grow up? ________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PEANLTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION,ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_____________________SIGNATURE (That means write your name, dickhead)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (you might watch
your back).
NOTE: This application will be deemed incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, and current
medical report.
NAME:_______________________________
DATE OF BIRTH_______________________
HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT____________ IQ________________
TAX FILE NUMBER #___________________ DRIVER'S LICENSE #___________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES___________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS___________________ CITY/STATE______________ POSTCODE______
Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent? if NO, please
explain
_________________________________________________________________________
Number of years parents married___________ If less then your age, explain.
________________________________________________________________________
Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tyres? _______
A waterbed?______ A pickup with a mattress in the back?_____
Do you have earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or tattoo?_____
(IF YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE THE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?__________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?_______________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?____________________________________________________________________________________________
Church you attend_____________________
How often do you attend_______________
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and pastor?_____
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential (that means I won't tell anyone, EVER)
A. If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be in the _________
B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ___________
C. A woman's place is in the ___________________________________________
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask about is _________
E. When I meet a girl, the thing I notice first is _____________________
(IF ANSWER "E" BEGINS WITH A "T" OR "A", DISCONTINUE, LEAVE PREMISES, KEEPING YOUR HEAD LOW AND RUNNING IN A SERPIRINE FASHION IS ADVISED.)
What do you want to be IF you grow up? ________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PEANLTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION,ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_____________________SIGNATURE (That means write your name, dickhead)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (you might watch
your back).
