Black Metal rules

[Dragan]

There are surely some rules how to be a popular blackmetal hero:
Feel free to submit some additional ones

1. Be true
2. Don't be gay
3. Don't be Dani Filth
4. Wear an unique corpsepaint
5. Wherever you are: have at least one great axe.
6. The best place for being somewhere is a dark forrest with an even darker castle in the background
7. When someone looking like Fred Durst asks you what true blackmetal is tell him something what sounds very professional but make sure he doesn't know what it is, although.

 

[Nate The Great]

8. Kill a random homosexual.
9. Kill somebody that used to be your friend, but is now an enemy.
10. Support facist movements.

 

[Lutz]

 

[Sargoth]

11. Always wear pink gloves
12. Smile naughty every time a guy calls you gay

 

[Dethroned]

13. call qrowling as singing.

 

[Board]

14: Wear spikes ALL the time!
15: Don't go to clubs, disco's and stuff like that.

Eehmm...I don't know if I can come up with more.

 

[~UlvedaL~]

16: Dont talk about it!

Post Scriptum: If one allready are true, no rules are necesary!

 

[manuelgv]

17.-If someone like Fred Durst comes to you and asks you what black metal is kill him before his stupidity grows
18.-Zebra pants allowed

 

[Ziller]

19: say "that's gay" at least 20 times a day.
20: never EVER under ANY circumstances develop as a musician.

 

[nevershine]

21: When you laugh, do it like the wicked witch of the west. "NJÄÄÄHÄHÄHÄÄHÄÄ!"
22: Don't laugh!!!

 

[Downfall]

Originally posted by nevershine
21: When you laugh, do it like the wicked witch of the west. "NJÄÄÄHÄHÄHÄÄHÄÄ!"
22: Don't laugh!!!

23. Don't - under any circumstances - make more than three records with one band and make sure there is no more than 2000 copies of each available (Otherwise you'll be commercial).
24. Use Boss' Metal Zone if you can...

 

[manuelgv]

25.switch bands a lot
26.have the "bad guy" attitude

 

[Nate The Great]

Originally posted by phyre
Boss Metal Zone? If you use anything more than the overdrive channel on a 15W practice amp, you're GAY and probably a sellout and traitor to scene. I'm not trying to be funny or make joke here. I don't make jokes.

Phyre has the Black Metal fever!

 

[MacMoney]

These jokes weren't funny three years ago, they weren't funny two years, they weren't funny year ago and surprisingly they aren't funny now.

 

[Downfall]

Originally posted by phyre
You all think you are funny because you can steal from the "101 rules of black metal". We'll see how funny you think it is when the entire Norwegian black metal scene comes to your houses with knives that cut DEEP.

If they actually come, they are a bunch of very sad people...

 

[Dragan]

Should I be afraid now?

 

[xenophobe]

27. Own great gear but always manage to get a shit tone.

28. Must wear facepaint for holidays and family gatherings

29. Own a refridgerator specifically for mutilated animal remains and parts... for positive mojo....

30. Must live in Europe, cause anyone who would do this, or even think about it in the US, would get thrown into a mental hospital, receive electric shock therapy hourly, and never see natural light again.

 

[nevershine]

Originally posted by phyre
Boss Metal Zone? If you use anything more than the overdrive channel on a 15W practice amp, you're GAY and probably a sellout and traitor to scene. I'm not trying to be funny or make joke here. I don't make jokes.

But you JUST DID!!!