I know that this isn't especially relevant, but I couldn't help but laugh heartily at DigiTech's description of their Death Metal pedal:
"The legendary Death Metal pedal is by far the most extreme distortion you will ever hear. Simply put, we have turned the gain up to eleven and ripped the knob off. Level, Low, Mid, and High tone controls provide flexible tone shaping, so even though this distortion is over the top, your guitar is guaranteed to cut through."
I think it's hilarious that people actually read that and think, "Wow, must be good!". It doesn't even try to describe it in serious terms, just in a WWE Smackdown! kind of way. Haha, and I love how it says "...even though this distortion is over the top, your guitar is guaranteed to cut through"...like they're trying to justify that the $35 brand new, absolutely wretched terrible sound becomes a positive thing because you can hear it so well in a mix!