Google has gone TOO FAR.

[NAD]

http://www.google.com/googlegulp/

At Google our mission is to organize the world's information and make it useful and accessible to our users. But any piece of information's usefulness derives, to a depressing degree, from the cognitive ability of the user who's using it. That's why we're pleased to announce Google Gulp (BETA)™ with Auto-Drink™ (LIMITED RELEASE), a line of "smart drinks" designed to maximize your surfing efficiency by making you more intelligent, and less thirsty.

2. Wait – you're saying Auto-Drink™ changes my brain chemistry?

Um, yeah – but for the better.

hahahahaha rules.

 

[En Vind Av Sorg]

3. Isn't that kind of dangerous?

Well, none of the lab rats who've been pounding this stuff for the past eight months have keeled over yet, which we find fairly reassuring. At any rate, you should be aware that by popping the seal on the twist-off Gulp cap, you send a wireless signal to Google's servers indicating your irrevocable acceptance of the Google Gulp Terms and Conditions, which do include the possibility, however remote, of hideous genetic mutation resulting from your consumption of this product. We're pretty sure you won't die, though.

 

[Doomwatcher]

Beta Carroty - Want to be healthy without actually going so far as to eat (shudder) vegetables? Get your daily pick-me-up dose of cancer-fighting carotenoids with this smooth, not all chalky morning smoothie.

Glutamate Grape - Why drink plain grape juice when you can stimulate your ionotropic and metabotropic receptors and groove to a sugar high? Enhancing your learning and memory functions never sounded sweeter. (Note: excessive amounts of glutamate can cause neuronal damage, so drink responsibly.)

 

[Nate The Great]

Speaking of beta . . . can somebody help me find where I can download the beta version of Microsoft Office Small Business Accounting?