Hello people
- Thread starter www.heavymetalworld.es.vg
- Start date
nafnikufesin
N.F.F.
Rusty
A-HAHAHA!
Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top...
and !:Spam:.
and !:Spam:.
Spam!Spam!Spam!Spam!Spam!Egg!Bacon!Spam!Spam!Spam!Spam! and Spam!
......Oh, but hold the egg and bacon.
What's that then? [spittleflies]SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!and SPAM!![/spittleflies]
Yeah.... pretty much.
Spike
P.S.
P.P.S. THIS was the way it was supposed to look the first time!
......Oh, but hold the egg and bacon.
What's that then? [spittleflies]SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!SPAM!!and SPAM!![/spittleflies]
Yeah.... pretty much.
Spike
P.S.
P.P.S. THIS was the way it was supposed to look the first time!
*Hates j00*
I haven't seen the series available on DVD.. I've seen movie box sets and what not, but not the TV series...... (Oh well something to do when I go on me little 'expedition'
P.S. Why do you stare at the camera so? What iddi it ever do to you?
I haven't seen the series available on DVD.. I've seen movie box sets and what not, but not the TV series...... (Oh well something to do when I go on me little 'expedition'
P.S. Why do you stare at the camera so? What iddi it ever do to you?
Rusty
A-HAHAHA!
Somebody mention Ponty Mython??
Customer: Good morning.
Owner: Good morning, sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!!
C: Ah, thank you, my good man.
O: What can I do for you, sir??
C: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.
O: Peckish, sir??
C: Esuriant.
O: Eh??
C: 'Ee, Ah wor 'ungry-loike!!
O: Ah, hungry!!
C: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!!
O: Come again??
C: I want to buy some cheese.
O: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!!
C: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!!
O: Sorry??
C: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!!
O: So he can go on playing, can he??
C: Most certainly!! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.
O: Certainly, sir. What would you like??
C: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.
O: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.
C: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit??
O: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.
C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.
O: Ah!! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it?? Aah, Bel Paese??
O: Sorry, sir.
C: Red Windsor??
O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
C: Ah. Stilton??
O: Sorry.
C: Ementhal?? Gruyere??
O: No.
C: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.
O: No.
C: Lipta??
O: No.
C: Lancashire??
O: No.
C: White Stilton??
O: No.
C: Danish Brew??
O: No.
C: Double Goucester??
O: <pause> No.
C: Cheshire??
O: No.
C: Dorset Bluveny??
O: No.
C: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson??
O: No.
C: Camenbert, perhaps??
O: Ah!! We have Camenbert, yessir.
C: (suprised) You do?? Excellent.
O: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
C: Oh, I like it runny.
O: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
C: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France!! Mmmwah!!
O: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
C: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
O: Oooooooooohhh........!! <pause>
C: What now??
O: The cat's eaten it.
C: <pause> Has he.
O: She, sir.
(pause)
C: Gouda??
O: No.
C: Edam??
O: No.
C: Case Ness??
O: No.
C: Smoked Austrian??
O: No.
C: Japanese Sage Darby??
O: No, sir.
C: You...do have some cheese, don't you??
O: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-
C: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
O: Fair enough.
C: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.
O: Yes??
C: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!!
O: Oh!! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.
(pause)
C: Greek Feta??
O: Uh, not as such.
C: Uuh, Gorgonzola??
O: No.
C: Parmesan??
O: No.
C: Mozarella??
O: No.
C: Paper Cramer??
O: No.
C: Danish Bimbo??
O: No.
C: Czech sheep's milk??
O: No.
C: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese??
O: Not today, sir, no.
(pause)
C: Aah, how about Cheddar??
O: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
C: Not much ca- It's the single most popular cheese in the world!!
O: Not 'round here, sir.
C: <slight pause> and what is the most popular cheese 'round hyah??
O: 'Illchester, sir.
C: IS it.
O: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manusquire.
C: Is it.
O: It's our number one best seller, sir!!
C: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh??
O: Right, sir.
C: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any??' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
O: I'll have a look, sir... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
C: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it??
O: Finest in the district!!
C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
O: Well, it's so clean, sir!!
C: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....
O: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
C: Would it be worth it??
O: Could be....
C: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!!
O: Told you sir....
C: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger??
O: No.
C: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me...
O: Yessir??
C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all??
O: Yes, sir.
C: Really??
(pause)
O: No. Not really, sir.
C: You haven't.
O: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.
C: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
O: Right-o, sir.
<the customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner>
C: What a senseless waste of human life.
Customer: Good morning.
Owner: Good morning, sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!!
C: Ah, thank you, my good man.
O: What can I do for you, sir??
C: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.
O: Peckish, sir??
C: Esuriant.
O: Eh??
C: 'Ee, Ah wor 'ungry-loike!!
O: Ah, hungry!!
C: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!!
O: Come again??
C: I want to buy some cheese.
O: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!!
C: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!!
O: Sorry??
C: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!!
O: So he can go on playing, can he??
C: Most certainly!! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.
O: Certainly, sir. What would you like??
C: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.
O: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.
C: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit??
O: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.
C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.
O: Ah!! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it?? Aah, Bel Paese??
O: Sorry, sir.
C: Red Windsor??
O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
C: Ah. Stilton??
O: Sorry.
C: Ementhal?? Gruyere??
O: No.
C: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.
O: No.
C: Lipta??
O: No.
C: Lancashire??
O: No.
C: White Stilton??
O: No.
C: Danish Brew??
O: No.
C: Double Goucester??
O: <pause> No.
C: Cheshire??
O: No.
C: Dorset Bluveny??
O: No.
C: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson??
O: No.
C: Camenbert, perhaps??
O: Ah!! We have Camenbert, yessir.
C: (suprised) You do?? Excellent.
O: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
C: Oh, I like it runny.
O: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
C: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France!! Mmmwah!!
O: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
C: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
O: Oooooooooohhh........!! <pause>
C: What now??
O: The cat's eaten it.
C: <pause> Has he.
O: She, sir.
(pause)
C: Gouda??
O: No.
C: Edam??
O: No.
C: Case Ness??
O: No.
C: Smoked Austrian??
O: No.
C: Japanese Sage Darby??
O: No, sir.
C: You...do have some cheese, don't you??
O: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-
C: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
O: Fair enough.
C: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.
O: Yes??
C: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!!
O: Oh!! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.
(pause)
C: Greek Feta??
O: Uh, not as such.
C: Uuh, Gorgonzola??
O: No.
C: Parmesan??
O: No.
C: Mozarella??
O: No.
C: Paper Cramer??
O: No.
C: Danish Bimbo??
O: No.
C: Czech sheep's milk??
O: No.
C: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese??
O: Not today, sir, no.
(pause)
C: Aah, how about Cheddar??
O: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
C: Not much ca- It's the single most popular cheese in the world!!
O: Not 'round here, sir.
C: <slight pause> and what is the most popular cheese 'round hyah??
O: 'Illchester, sir.
C: IS it.
O: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manusquire.
C: Is it.
O: It's our number one best seller, sir!!
C: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh??
O: Right, sir.
C: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any??' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
O: I'll have a look, sir... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
C: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it??
O: Finest in the district!!
C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
O: Well, it's so clean, sir!!
C: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....
O: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
C: Would it be worth it??
O: Could be....
C: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!!
O: Told you sir....
C: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger??
O: No.
C: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me...
O: Yessir??
C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all??
O: Yes, sir.
C: Really??
(pause)
O: No. Not really, sir.
C: You haven't.
O: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.
C: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
O: Right-o, sir.
<the customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner>
C: What a senseless waste of human life.
xenophobe
Active Member
DID someone mention Monty Python? !
Man: 'Evening, squire!
Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.
Man: Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
Man: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
Squire: (flustered) Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.
Man: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
Squire: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
Man: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
Squire: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?
Man: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay? (pause) Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!
Squire: Well, I, uh....
Man: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
Squire: Um, she likes sport, yes!
Man: I bet she does, I bet she does!
Squire: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.
Man: 'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been around a bit, been around?
Squire: She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale. (pause)
Man: SAY NO MORE!!
Man: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!
Squire: I wasn't going to!
Man: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib? Is your uh, is your wife interested in....photography, ay? "Photographs, ay", he asked him knowlingly?
Squire: Photography?
Man: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
Squire: Holiday snaps, eh?
Man: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know, CANDID photography?
Squire: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.
Man: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?
Squire: Look... are you insinuating something?
Man: Oh, no, no, no...yes.
Squire: Well?
Man: Well, you're a man of the world, squire.
Squire: Yes...
Man: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh.... You've "done it"....
Squire: What do you mean?
Man: Well, I mean like,....you've SLEPT, with a lady....
Squire: Yes....
Man: What's it like?
Man: 'Evening, squire!
Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.
Man: Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
Man: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
Squire: (flustered) Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.
Man: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
Squire: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
Man: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
Squire: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?
Man: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay? (pause) Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!
Squire: Well, I, uh....
Man: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
Squire: Um, she likes sport, yes!
Man: I bet she does, I bet she does!
Squire: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.
Man: 'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been around a bit, been around?
Squire: She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale. (pause)
Man: SAY NO MORE!!
Man: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!
Squire: I wasn't going to!
Man: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib? Is your uh, is your wife interested in....photography, ay? "Photographs, ay", he asked him knowlingly?
Squire: Photography?
Man: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
Squire: Holiday snaps, eh?
Man: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know, CANDID photography?
Squire: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.
Man: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?
Squire: Look... are you insinuating something?
Man: Oh, no, no, no...yes.
Squire: Well?
Man: Well, you're a man of the world, squire.
Squire: Yes...
Man: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh.... You've "done it"....
Squire: What do you mean?
Man: Well, I mean like,....you've SLEPT, with a lady....
Squire: Yes....
Man: What's it like?
Pancakes
whatta guy
