holy bejesus: my huge mean obese coworker has a giant candy dispenser on her desk

[minxnim]

like, literally one of those giant plastic funnel dispensers they have in movie theaters and it's full of giant sized peanut butter cups.
they're gonna have to grease this bitch up by november just to get her out of the fucking cubicle. i can hear her esophagus sealing shut from over here. WHEEZE WHEEZE WHEEZE.

 

[XzanderX]

steal it and send it to me!!!

 

[minxnim]

dude i think she might kill me if i go near it. there are now officially two girls in this office that *hate* my guts. and they could both crush me.

 

[deadair]

p0st n00dz

 

[XzanderX]

if they touch you... I will fucking break their skullzzz with my fiztz!!!

 

[xfer]

a funnel? what, is it like suspended above her with a pull chain so one only need tip the head back and yank to become subsumed in chocolatey goodness?

actually, if i liked candy, that would be cool.

 

[minxnim]

no it's more like a giant clear plastic TUBE, maybe 6" in diameter. and like, if you open a little door at the bottom candy comes out. like one of those bulk food dispensers. but it's literally at least 4' high. AND FULL.

 

[goatschool]

replacing the candy with earthworms would produce quite an effect

 

[xfer]

from what preppy says, i dont think it would slow this woman down.

 

[FuSoYa]

why are there so many candy haters on this board? candy is GOOD.

 

[chupe666]

Attacking giant life-sized personified Reeses.

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

I agree, but we are thin, and don't eat FOUR FOOT TALL TUBES OF REESES CUPS! ghaaaaaah....four feet of reeses....*eyes glaze over*

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

Eric I TOTALLY hung out with Mr. Reeses Cup - we used to go to Hershey Park all the time. I have to tell you though, Mr. Bar None was a lot cooler (he wears shades). We followed Bar None around the park yelling "Bar None! You're the COOLEST OF THE CANDY!!!" We even walked with him in the candy parade. Ah, to be 17 again.

And it's been my lifelong dream to tip over one of the Kisses and watch them flail their arms and legs in a futile attempt to stand up.

 

[FuSoYa]

dude, hershey park is the trippiest place ever. Eric, have you been? I know JOSH HAS. AND I HAVE. AND XFER.

 

[FuSoYa]

josh jinx dude.

 

[xfer]

At least the park smelled nice, unlike the pissiness of Sesame Place.

 

[avi]

I've been there, but it was a looooooong time ago. I remember Hershey Kisses everywhere and going on a short guided tour thingy.

 

[XzanderX]

hershey park... oh boy!!! LOVE IT!

 

[chupe666]

Yeah, that was an odd jinx. Not only did you both relate the same thought, but you both used my real name.

No, I've never been. Gotta go there someday- only been to Pittsburgh and Philly in PA. Eat N Park doesn't seem quite as continental as Hershey Park. I'm assuming you're speaking of actual Hershey PA...

And I'm still fascinated how Google image search retrieves weird things: like how Hershey Park brings back an image of Britney Spears. I could extrapolate and hypothesize, but I think it's more fun to let your mind to wander.

 

[chupe666]

Originally posted by xfer
At least the park smelled nice, unlike the pissiness of Sesame Place.

Oscar's incontinent.

And Alex, since it's your birthday, here's another Oscar: