i saw the most disgusting show on the Food Network the other day

xfer

xfer

I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
Nov 8, 2001
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it was about this trained master chef who cooked for DOGS and would make this insanely beautiful roll-ups with six kinds of meat and asparagus stalks crossed on top and decorated buns and doggie oatmeal cookies with truffle oil in them and all this other nonsense.

these two bichon frises were staying in this doggie hotel with a whole room all to themselves including doggie snacks, a personal chef, cashmere pillows, et cetera. they would run over to this guy's snacks and snarf them down while he beamed in the background.

i can't quite decide what the greatest axis of horribleness is here. the indignity of being a chef to DOGS who can't tell the difference between your $28 beef rolls and a $0.79 can of Alpo? the crappiness of being a Sudanese guy watching this on satellite and being like "dogs?? fucking dogs get that stuff in America!?". if i were homeless and saw this show i would seriously give the boot to every bichon frise i saw subsequently (and, importantly, their owners).
 
i think that chef would probably justify it by saying "i don't do it for the dogs, but for the owners" and, i mean, obviously, yeah. but the fact that there are people out there who shell out thousands of dollars and get a thrill of pleasure from seeing their obnoxious doggies eating truffle oil and drinking Evian is the sick part.
 
a girl from my high school is a 'pet communicator'. i'm pissed i didnt think of fleecing people with that idea first.

but i mean, i actually KNOW someone who spoils their dog like that. the dog has their own 'WING' if an apartment. it's really twisted. but i guess when your friends let you down.....
 
you would probably have nicer friends if you were the kind of person who spent their money and time helping out other people instead of pampering a fucking animal with Kobe beef and Maine fucking lobsters!
 
some people have weird perspectives. i guess it's just as bad to have given your dog $5,000 pate as it is to have bought yet ANOTHER summer home or a hummer or like, guying $7,000 watches. (woops) or whatever.
 
hmm...well, i think it's close, but i think the dog thing is worse. when you buy a fancy watch, you're deriving pleasure from caring excessively for yourself. ok, whatever.

when you buy $5,000 pate, you're deriving pleasure from caring excessively for someone else...but not a person. a DOG.

if you're going to be selfish, fine, be selfish. but if you're going to get pleasure from caring for an Other, then for god's sake make it a person at least.
 
My neighbors piss me off. They had a cat and she got pregnant. The level of care the litter of four got was such that my family found a way to take in another cat and I began researching MSPCA report procedures until they found a home for one. Things improved for awhile then they took the remaining two to the vet for routine, basic care (when they were about six months old) and lost one of them in the city. As if this wasn't bad enough, the mother (who got "fixed") had another litter a few months back. She has since disappeared and reports indicate that some effort was put into arranging adoptions for the kittens. However, one of the males from the initial litter is out on my front porch right now begging for his supper.

Lenny is literally 1/2 the size of his brother that we took in. He walks with a permanent limp, has sections of fur missing from one of his hind legs, something is wrong with his tail, and he is flea ridden to put it mildly. Despite this, it is impossible to sit out there without him jumping up on your lap purring like mad.

If any of you know someone in the position to take in a needy cat from a place 30 minutes east of Providence (45 South of Boston,) or are familiar with no-kill shelters in the same vicinity, please PM me.
 
GREAT DANE-ISH
Light Dough
4 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup cornmeal
1 egg
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 cups water
Dark Dough
4 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup cornmeal
1 egg
1/4 cup molasses
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 1/2 cups water

Stir each color dough separately. Knead each color, adding flour as necessary, until it is bread dough consistency, only a little stiffer.Roll light dough on floured surface into a 1/2-inch thick rectangle. Roll the dark dough to the same dimensions. Spritz the top of the light dough with water. Lay dark dough on top. Fold tightly from the long edge like a jellyroll. Wrap in plastic wrap and freeze for 1 hour.Cut 1/2-inch thick. Bake at 350 degrees F for 1 hour, then turn oven off, crack oven door and leave in until very hard, about 8 hours.
 
I know Avi. It'd be a shame if he had to euthanized because Lenny's a great cat. The problems with our adopting him are myriad. With the three currently in the house, the issue of territory is complex enough already (to the point where my current cat, when we brought in the third, began behaving exactly like my previous did just before he died.), I'd need to pick up a second job to cover his current medical needs (which is indicative of my poor excuse for a salary more than his condition), he does not really get along with the older cats (in large part because mine is a bit of a bitch), etc. etc. etc.
 
I feel ya.

since I do a lot of rescue work, of course I'm the first person my friends call when they hear about a needy animal. sad truth is that most of em can't be helped nomatter how much I'd like to. especially the cats.
 
Yeah. I'm thinking of getting something done before the MSPCA is called. If they looked into it, blaming the people who have the cat foisted on them by default is likely.
 
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