"If it aint broke....

[minxnim]

I'll fuckin break it for you. Stay the fuck away from my face."

- my dad

 

[xfer]

i'll be using that in the future. but in a mild-mannered, hesitant tone completely unlike your dad's.

 

[minxnim]

i also spent about half an hour explaining 'metrosexual' to my dad. after which he first asked me if it was like my old roommate (i said YES) then this:

me: 'dad it's like the new grunge'

dad: 'what are they gays going to do then?'

me: 'mainstream themselves i guess?'

dad: 'boring.'

 

[xfer]

"mainstream themselves"

 

[TheNewChupe]

amazing.

 

[minxnim]

some dude is trying to sue my dad because a wall he FIXED for the guy fell down after the guy hit it backing up with his car going an estimated 15 MPH.

 

[xfer]

for fuck's sake, amanda, the guy DID clearly say he wanted the wall to be retard-proof, didn't he?

 

[minxnim]

seriously my dad was just like 'i can't fucking account for you being a dick'

 

[xfer]

i wonder if the dude turned around and sued Toyota for adding a "gas pedal" to the car.

 

[minxnim]

my guess is that he is just having a nervous breakdown somewhere. he seems like one of those people that's perpetually angry and can take no blame on themselves. i bet his wife is a really happy woman.
my favorite thing is that my mom told him to 'take a chill pill' when he first called them.

 

[xfer]

i hope the wall tipped over and landed on his wife's annoying yappy lapdog.

 

[minxnim]

i wonder if they do have a little kick-dog.

 

[xfer]

haha "kick-dog"

 

[minxnim]

that's what my dad calls them. or 'punt dogs'

 

[xfer]

http://www.soundamerica.com/sounds/sound_fx/F-R/goofy.wav