If you're feeling down depressed and lonely
I know a place where we can go
22 Acacia Avenue, meet a lady that I know
So any time you're down the cheese shop
and you're prepared to pay the price
You can take my honest word for it
Wensleydale is all she's got
If you're waiting for a long time
for the rest to do buy their cheese
You can betcha there's some Stilton
Waiting for the pies & cream
So any time you're down the cheese shop
don't you hesitate to buy
You can take my honest word for it
she'll teach you more than you can cook
Charlotte can't you get out of all this cheese shop
Don't you see it only brings you bad breath
When you're walking down the street
Everybody stops and thinks of cheese
Some day when you're reaching the age of mature cheddar
I bet you'll regret the days when you were making cheese
Nobody then will want to know, you won't have any beautiful wares to show any more
22, you've gotta buy some cheddar!
You're just waiting in the line
You will find it's green inside
The red lights burning bright tonight
Charlotte isn't it time you stopped this cheese shop?
Don't you ever think about joining the bakery?
When you're walking down the street
Everybody stops and thinks of cheese
Sometimes when you're strolling down the Avenue
The way you walk it makes men think of buying cheese
When you're walking down the street, everybody stops and turns to stare it's true
22, the Avenue, that's the place to buy some cheese
You will find it's warm inside,
the red lights burning bright tonight
Beat it, mistreat it,
Whip it a bit in an egg
Bite it, mash it,
Fry it and put it on bread
Abuse it, misuse it,
Cheese can take all that you've got
Caress it, ha! molest it,
Cheese always does what you want
You're running that cheese don't you know what you're doing?
Can't you see it'll lead you to ruin
Charlotte you've taken your cheese and you've thrown it away
You believe that because what you're earning
You can buy cheese to live and to burn it
Don't you know that your breath is gonna smell bad?
All the men and cheese you've been dating
There's no holes in the holes you've been baking
The holes in cheese are starting to smell
