i'm back from texas
- Thread starter xfer
- Start date
walking to my car from a cowboy bar on saturday night, a giant pickup truck pulled up alongside me with four dudes in it, and a really fat guy with a cowboy hat stuck his head out the window and shouted (to me) "SHOW ME YOUR TITS, my pals!"
i heard "Proud To Be An American" five separate times, and a few of those times everybody around started singing along.
lizard
Member
the Hindu wedding was the ONLY event i attended over four days where they didn't take a moment to thank the troops--and not just thank them, but every single time connected "the troops" to "protecting freedom that lets us do (x event) right now"
you know, if the troops weren't invading arab countries then the Taliban would have occupied America and prevented us from having a fake cowboy gunfight in fort worth, line dancing in the stockyards, etc. (I'm not exaggerating, they explicitly said that)
you know, if the troops weren't invading arab countries then the Taliban would have occupied America and prevented us from having a fake cowboy gunfight in fort worth, line dancing in the stockyards, etc. (I'm not exaggerating, they explicitly said that)
i left my camera battery at home so there weren't many pictures. there IS a photo, somewhere, of a marquee from the cowboy bar (which has a capacity of 6,000) that we changed to read TEXAS BLOWS before running out of there like bats out of hell.
we were flipping through our hotel room TV channels going "Jesus...sports...Jesus...sports...Jesus...Jesus...sports....Jesus...Jesus"
NAD
What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse
Oh man, nicely done.xfer said:
I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, my friend was marrying a marine and yeah there was some serious fellating of the service. Needless to say, my friend and I cut out pretty early. Uhh, different friend, not the bride. That would've been pretty funny though.
actually we were at the cowboy bar on sunday night--on saturday, we heard, it was at capacity and would have made my head explode.
Baliset
guitar deity
we drove JFK's route in dallas and waved to people on the grassy knoll before pretending to be shot and crumpling down in the car.
a dude at the JFK museum was short, fat, wearing a shirt made of a texas flag, and a cowboy hat, and had the two fattest seven-ish-year-old sons i've ever seen. they both were wearing american flag t-shirts.
a dude at the JFK museum was short, fat, wearing a shirt made of a texas flag, and a cowboy hat, and had the two fattest seven-ish-year-old sons i've ever seen. they both were wearing american flag t-shirts.
we went to a cattle drive in fort worth and there was a longhorn steer on the side of the road with a cowboy helping you get astride it and take pictures. this elderly dude was getting on it and the cowboy was like "WHERE YALL FROM" and the guy was like (in a thick accent) "Israel, you know Israel, eh?" and the cowboy was like "OH YUP, WEST BANK, GAZA STRIP, I GOTCHA"
at billy bob's (that cowboy bar), it was apparently all-ages because there were a bunch of teenagers there (fourteen-sixteen) and the sixteen-year-old girls were dancing with a series of 25-30 year-old cowboys and buzzcut types. in a most salacious manner.
a portly woman was walking around the bar with a baby in one hand and a cigarette in the other!
a portly woman was walking around the bar with a baby in one hand and a cigarette in the other!
it is not just talk that "everything is bigger in texas". i was seriously amazed--the highways take up soooo much space, the buildings are all gigantic (including the "churches" which are more like neon-outlined skyscrapers than places of worship), there are enormous parking lots for the tiniest businesses, etc.
HOWEVER billy bob's had undersized pool tables.
HOWEVER billy bob's had undersized pool tables.
FrostGiant
Mr. Pibb > Dr. Pepper
avi
W3RK3R
yeah, maybe my arms grew longer while i was in texas and enabled me to reach more than halfway across a standard-sized pool table, the long way!
FrostGiant
Mr. Pibb > Dr. Pepper
lizard
Member
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