I'm Looking For a Wife...

[derek]

Yes, the thread title says it all.

I have decided the time has come for me to take a wife. Thus, I welcome all applicants.

I can provide a Scottish Castle, many goats and cattle, children with a 68% chance of being deformity free, 3 red apples, a broken mirror, seperate living quarters so you may entertain menfolk when I am too tired or too busy with being impotent, the promise that the grass will be reguarly maintained and finally a mid-to-high chance of domestic violence, contingent on which football team played/lost/won and my intake of 11%, 28pence a can lager.

Thanks to the recent changes in law allowing people of the non-into-the-opposite-gender variety to take a partner, I am also willing to consider a Man-Husband.

Thank you.

 

[EricT]

I take your offer!

 

[Captain Beard]

Whats that from?

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

Its not that easy, you have to make a resume.

 

[Will Bozarth]

You can have Laura... if the price is right.


i should totally replace bob barker

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

if you marry me, you also get Will as your man-husband. good deal, huh?

 

[derek]

What sort of categories should I include?

I am awfully inexperienced in the field of taking a wife.

 

[Will Bozarth]

if you marry me, you also get Will as your man-husband. good deal, huh?

tr00th

 

[DreamNeonBlack]

DUDE, Russian bride. totally Russian bride.

 

[derek]

if you marry me, you also get Will as your man-husband. good deal, huh?

I like this deal very much.

What sort of goat-herding skills does Will bring to the arrangement?

AND does your father agree that $41 and three black children is a fair sum for your hand in wedlock?

 

[EricT]

You can have me AND my father for $37 and 1/2 a black child.

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

I like this deal very much.

What sort of goat-herding skills does Will bring to the arrangement?

AND does your father agree that $41 and three black children is a fair sum for your hand in wedlock?

i can't say much for Will's goat-herding abilities, but my father says you can keep the black children.

 

[derek]

Why will no-one take the black children!?

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

You can have me AND my father for $37 and 1/2 a black child.

way to slaughter black children.

 

[derek]

You can have me AND my father for $37 and 1/2 a black child.

Will your father call me Wilhelm and smack me?

 

[Will Bozarth]

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

Why will no-one take the black children!?

they don't taste as good as the white children.

well, they do it you fry them, but i'm trying to watch my cholestoral intake.

 

[derek]

they don't taste as good as the white children.

well, they do it you fry them, but i'm trying to watch my cholestoral intake.

Ironic that black kids taste best fried.

FRRRRRRRRRRIED CHIIIIIIIIIICKEN!

 

[EricT]

way to slaughter black children.

Way to just refuse them completely...

Atleast I'm willing to take in 1/2 of one.

 

[dreaming neon darkspot]

Ironic that black kids taste best fried.

FRRRRRRRRRRIED CHIIIIIIIIIICKEN!

i think of it as rather appropriate.