I'm surrounded by stupid people but they're too stupid to know they're stupid

[lizard]

my cubemate Angie's dad died last week, after a long illness

boss: so Richard (me), have you completed those slides yet?
me: yes. they're up on the monitors.
boss: (turning to Angie) so.....how'd it go last week?
angie: *bursts into tears* just fucking great...my dad's dead. how do you think it went? *rushes out of cube*
boss: er....

so your employee's dad dies, and you say, "how'd it go?"
what a flying fucktard.

 

[NAD]

"soooooo.... contemplated suicide lately?"

"your dad died, huh. can you work overtime today?"

"ah, funeral. hey look, hors d'oeuvres!"

"i'm running out of made up quotes."

"well, at least he wasn't jewish. oh, he was? huh, how about that."

 

[lizard]

nah he was a German from the Sudetenland.

they had to flee Germany at the end of the war after the communists made HIS dad dig his own grave before they executed him.

"so...your dad...was he writhing in pain there at the end?"

 

[lizard]

haha I don't know if this is brilliant, or stupid.

Florida bans sex offenders from hurricane shelters

* Sex offenders tracked by the state are banned from public hurricane shelters in Florida under a new policy that allows them to weather the storms in prison instead. The policy was created to keep sex offenders and predators away from children….

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

haha lame

 

[lizard]

wooooooo

Man Spends Two Weeks with Padlock on Genitals
The fact that alcohol was involved with this is NOT a big surprise, but the fact that this guy walked around two weeks with a padlock around his balls IS. A Maine man called police last week to get their assistance getting a padlock off his genitals. According to the victim, a friend (some friend!) placed the padlock around his scrotum while he was drunk and then left. When he sobered up, the man tried to use the key to open the lock, but broke it off inside. Then, of course, he tried to use a hacksaw to cut through it and was unsuccessful . . . so he broke down and called the cops. They brought in a locksmith who managed to free the guys testicles without any permanent damage to the family jewels. (Portsmouth Herald)

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

 

[lizard]

ugh

Mother of the Year Candidate: Woman Drunk While Giving Birth
An Oklahoma woman claims she didn't even know she was pregnant when she gave birth to a baby girl on June 30 while registering a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit for driving! Melissa Irene Tanner, 37, who has six other children, claimed she'd been getting drunk about twice a week for the past few months because she didn't know she was expecting. The baby, which wasn't breathing at the time of birth is now doing better and has been placed in foster care. Mom, of course, is where she belongs: in jail.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

hawt

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

i saw it lizard. i couldn't tell if those were fat thighs or his BALLS.

 

[lurch70]

idea from over the weekend ...

we need to send all prisoners in jail to Iraq ... "ohh, you like guns? you like Hummers? ... ok ... you go there ... you make it back in one piece, you are free"

 

[Erik]

ugh

Mother of the Year Candidate: Woman Drunk While Giving Birth
An Oklahoma woman claims she didn't even know she was pregnant when she gave birth to a baby girl on June 30 while registering a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit for driving! Melissa Irene Tanner, 37, who has six other children, claimed she'd been getting drunk about twice a week for the past few months because she didn't know she was expecting. The baby, which wasn't breathing at the time of birth is now doing better and has been placed in foster care. Mom, of course, is where she belongs: in jail.

i'd hit it

with a hammer

in the face

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

i'd hit it

with a hammer

in the face

looks like someone already did

but please, go ahead!

 

[lizard]

Cara ~
if those are his balls, there's no justice in the world.

 

[lizard]

awesome - the King of the Forest

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

and

 

[Slipknot are tr00]

ugh

Mother of the Year Candidate: Woman Drunk While Giving Birth
An Oklahoma woman claims she didn't even know she was pregnant when she gave birth to a baby girl on June 30 while registering a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit for driving! Melissa Irene Tanner, 37, who has six other children, claimed she'd been getting drunk about twice a week for the past few months because she didn't know she was expecting. The baby, which wasn't breathing at the time of birth is now doing better and has been placed in foster care. Mom, of course, is where she belongs: in jail.

Muwahahah who would hit that to the point where 7 kids would come from her darkest depths? I must see a pic of the father!

 

[MFJ]

fathers!

***

 

[Slipknot are tr00]

 

[cthulufhtagn]

i read the thread title and the first thing that popped into my head was "you must work at the white house"