INSIDE THIS THREAD: we are snack ninjas

[minxnim]

i am going to sneak into the kitchen in about 10 minutes and quietly pull a pretzel out of the bag without letting the bag make a sound and then sneak back in here and eat it without giving off one crunching noise.

 

[xfer]

i am going to open the refrigerator door, kneel down like i'm searching for something of my own, and then drink directly from Grant's milk jug using the door as a shield. then i'll rustle some Tupperware as if that's what i was doing all along, close the door, and saunter out.

 

[xfer]

a real snack ninja would not have forgotten to wipe off his milk mustache, however.

 

[minxnim]

this afternoon i'm going to gently lift a handful of granola out of my roommates cereal box when he's playing vice city.

 

[minxnim]

i dont want to get busted stealing cookies. man those plastic trays are too crinkly

 

[Veils_of_Cerpintaxt]

Don't Wake Daddy

 

[FalseTodd]

The path to the candy jar two cubes adjacent is, for me, but a single leap.

 

[goatschool]

i am going to slip behind the veneer of vegetarianism and shove a whopper w/cheese down my throat

 

[FalseTodd]

i dont want to get busted stealing cookies. man those plastic trays are too crinkly

That is so close to a haiku.

Don't want to get caught
Must avoid fig newtons.
Those trays are crinkly.

 

[avi]

there have been zero

snackies in the office since

my return back home

 

[TheNewChupe]

today is a food day so there's a bunch of free food out, but at noon our group is leaving for a catered lunch. when it rains, my socks get wet.

 

[FalseTodd]

there have been zero

snackies in the office since

my return back home

You know? Serves you right
For taking your honeymoon
over Halloween.

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

fig newtons come in sleeves. a ninja must know the enemy, samuel.

 

[xfer]

I pocket an Oreo, and scatter caltrops of Cap'n Crunch to slow pursuit.

 

[xfer]

Hopefully my enemies wear only socks.

 

[xfer]

The answer to getting rid of crotch crickets is inside this thread.....

 

[TheNewChupe]

There was nothing in Al Capone's vault-

 

[FalseTodd]

fig newtons come in sleeves. a ninja must know the enemy, samuel.

Plastic crinkly ass sleeves. The true ninja knows the worthlessness of nit-picking.

 

[TheNewChupe]

Plastic crinkly ass sleeves.

i bet these would look stunning with an asshat

 

[FalseTodd]

Chupe: The sound you don't hear is me hopping onto your shoulders to pelt you with stale Snackwells.