Iron Maiden fires Dave Murray!

[Spiff]

It's true! Read it at www.dailyprobe.com


Heavy Metal Musician Fired for Not Wielding Guitar Like 4-Foot Cock

LONDON (DPI) - Legendary heavy metal band Iron Maiden dumped lead guitarist Dave Murray today after complaints that Murray had consistently been "unwilling to flail his guitar like a massive wood-and-chrome pecker." According to lead singer Bruce Dickinson, "Dave's a great guitar player, but he doesn't sling his guitar about in a cock-like manner way that our fans expect." According to Dickinson Murray had consistently failed to dry-hump his guitar onstage, plant the bottom of it into his genitals while playing solos, or slide the peghead between the thighs of front-row groupies. "To Dave, it's just a guitar. But to fans, it's 10 pounds of electrified, eardrum-splitting man-root."

 

[Blitzkrieg]

 

[duellist]

Let me getr this right, Dave Murray Original Member of Maiden get fired for not acting like a pre-pubecent arsehole. Can anybody tell me in the twenty odd years of maiden has dave every used his guitar as an extention of his member? or has he just played guitar, cause if he just plays the guitar like he always has for twenty odd yeas yhat is what true maiden fans expect from Dave. or is it what Bruce expect From Dave?

 

[Sydo]

Dude.. - think harder.

 

[Mark]

What a guitarhead

 

[spawn]

I told you Janick wouldnt get kicked out, Dave should have learnt more off him, he really should, but he had his whole "Oh no, ive been in Maiden longer, you can learn off ME" attitude. No wonder they got rid of him

 

[Southy]

tell me im reading this right and it is all just a pack of dribble

 

[phlogiston]

He's had it comming for ages. 'Course H is next, they obviously forgot about him in the first round of layoffs because he was standing to still. He blended in with the speaker cabinets.

 

[Southy]

dribble right?

 

[phlogiston]

Did you click on Spiffys link in his first post, Southy?

 

[Southy]

nah....too lazy to wait for another page to load..guees i should huh

 

[Southy]

hey anyhoo i realised it was dribble...what with a name like daily probe it HAS to be shit don't it

 

[Blitzkrieg]

Nice site tho.

 

[Southy]

well if its THAT funny maybe i should check it out

 

[Spiff]

It's a brilliant site! Once they had a whole page of news about George Harrison after he died, very funny stuff I prefer it to The Onion nowadays.

 

[Spiff]

And they can have me in stitches with just one line, like this:

Bush Panics as Algernon Can No Longer Figure Out Maze

Those among you who have seen "Charly" or read "Flowers For Algernon" will get the joke

 

[Slash Freeman]

I've not checked out the link yet, 'cos everytime i open a link my computer tries to open them in netscape, which i HATE.

And that article would be funny if it wasn't so.....so...........sick. I'm a guitarist and i love my guitar, so i object to anyone saying guitars are used as 4 foot cocks.

 

[spawn]

Im a guitarist too! Sadly my guitars strings are all floppy and no amount of whammy abuse can help me

 

[Spiff]

Slash, why don't you right-click on the link and then select 'open in new window'?

 

[Slash Freeman]

cos it still tries to open it in netscape. I use internet explorer and netscape just takes too long.