Isn't this um, a little deceptive?
- Thread starter FuSoYa
- Start date
avi
W3RK3R
FrostGiant
Mr. Pibb > Dr. Pepper
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
Toby, you're such an anti-religious bastard, you don't even give them a fucking chance before calling them hypocrites and ASSUMING they're trying to steal away Onion readers, thereby making an ASS out of U and...er...MING, I guess.
http://www.visionconcerts.com/all/Not_Unlike_an_Onion.htm
Not unlike an onion
Summary
Two women chopping up veges for Easter Sunday lunch find that uncovering the reasons behind the crucifixion of Jesus is not unlike peeling an onion.
Serious, 2 pages
Cast
BETH
ROZ
[Two women are in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables for Easter Sunday dinner. One is a Christian, the other is curious.]
BETH So Roz, who caused Jesus to die?
ROZ Well the ones who were directly responsible were of course the Roman soldiers who crucified him. But it runs deeper than that. [Holding up an onion]
Actually it's not unlike an onion, in that you peel off one layer and there's another layer there. The soldiers were only carrying out the orders they were given by the Governor. So they weren't the real cause, although they were, if you know what I mean.
BETH Was the Governor, Pilate?
ROZ Pontious Pilate, that's right. You see he was at fault because he let a man he knew was innocent be crucified.
BETH So he's responsible.
ROZ Well not quite, you see you've got the onion again. Pilate actually wanted to set Jesus free, but the Jews wanted him crucified and Pilate didn't want a riot so he gave in.
BETH So the Jews were the problem.
ROZ Well yeah, but not really â¦
BETH [Laughing] Oh.
ROZ It was a Jewish crowd that cried out for Jesus to be crucified but it was the their religious leaders who stirred them up. They were envious of Jesus because everyone was following him so they had him arrested and brought to Pilate to be crucified.
BETH OK, did we got to the bottom of it?
ROZ Not yet.
BETH You're kidding?
ROZ No, you see Jesus is God's Son. He could have easily rescued himself. But he let all these things happen to him because he knew it was God's purpose.
BETH How could it be God's purpose to see his own Son suffer and die?
ROZ Because the real reason Jesus died goes right back to Adam and Eve.
BETH What?
ROZ When the very first people God created sinned, God told them that they had the curse of sin on them and they would have to die, because up to that time they were with God and they could have lived forever. But when they sinned they were separated from God.
BETH So this whole thing's Adam and Eve's fault?
ROZ Actually you and me are just as much to blame for Jesus' death and suffering as Adam and Eve and the soldiers who hammered the nails into his hands.
You see we've done the same thing Adam and Eve did - we've sinned and brought a curse on ourselves. But all the time God has been planning a way to take away the curse and let us come back to him so we're not separated anymore.
That's what Jesus came to do. Although he was completely innocent, he took the punishment of the curse in our place.
BETH Why would he do that?
ROZ [Shrugging shoulders] Only because he loves us so much he thinks we're worth it. It's amazing, to think the strength of his love for us is greater than the pain of hanging from a cross and the fear of dying. Just so he could take those who believe in him back to God just like they were in the beginning, maybe even closer.
I mean that's really what love is you know? [Laughing] I wish there were a few more men like that.
[Beth has tears in her eyes]
Are you OK?
BETH Yeah, [Laughing - embarrassed] I'm just a little teary eyed.
ROZ Ha. The onions will do that to you.
BETH Huh? .⦠O yeah, ha.
[Fade out]
http://www.visionconcerts.com/all/Not_Unlike_an_Onion.htm
Not unlike an onion
Summary
Two women chopping up veges for Easter Sunday lunch find that uncovering the reasons behind the crucifixion of Jesus is not unlike peeling an onion.
Serious, 2 pages
Cast
BETH
ROZ
[Two women are in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables for Easter Sunday dinner. One is a Christian, the other is curious.]
BETH So Roz, who caused Jesus to die?
ROZ Well the ones who were directly responsible were of course the Roman soldiers who crucified him. But it runs deeper than that. [Holding up an onion]
Actually it's not unlike an onion, in that you peel off one layer and there's another layer there. The soldiers were only carrying out the orders they were given by the Governor. So they weren't the real cause, although they were, if you know what I mean.
BETH Was the Governor, Pilate?
ROZ Pontious Pilate, that's right. You see he was at fault because he let a man he knew was innocent be crucified.
BETH So he's responsible.
ROZ Well not quite, you see you've got the onion again. Pilate actually wanted to set Jesus free, but the Jews wanted him crucified and Pilate didn't want a riot so he gave in.
BETH So the Jews were the problem.
ROZ Well yeah, but not really â¦
BETH [Laughing] Oh.
ROZ It was a Jewish crowd that cried out for Jesus to be crucified but it was the their religious leaders who stirred them up. They were envious of Jesus because everyone was following him so they had him arrested and brought to Pilate to be crucified.
BETH OK, did we got to the bottom of it?
ROZ Not yet.
BETH You're kidding?
ROZ No, you see Jesus is God's Son. He could have easily rescued himself. But he let all these things happen to him because he knew it was God's purpose.
BETH How could it be God's purpose to see his own Son suffer and die?
ROZ Because the real reason Jesus died goes right back to Adam and Eve.
BETH What?
ROZ When the very first people God created sinned, God told them that they had the curse of sin on them and they would have to die, because up to that time they were with God and they could have lived forever. But when they sinned they were separated from God.
BETH So this whole thing's Adam and Eve's fault?
ROZ Actually you and me are just as much to blame for Jesus' death and suffering as Adam and Eve and the soldiers who hammered the nails into his hands.
You see we've done the same thing Adam and Eve did - we've sinned and brought a curse on ourselves. But all the time God has been planning a way to take away the curse and let us come back to him so we're not separated anymore.
That's what Jesus came to do. Although he was completely innocent, he took the punishment of the curse in our place.
BETH Why would he do that?
ROZ [Shrugging shoulders] Only because he loves us so much he thinks we're worth it. It's amazing, to think the strength of his love for us is greater than the pain of hanging from a cross and the fear of dying. Just so he could take those who believe in him back to God just like they were in the beginning, maybe even closer.
I mean that's really what love is you know? [Laughing] I wish there were a few more men like that.
[Beth has tears in her eyes]
Are you OK?
BETH Yeah, [Laughing - embarrassed] I'm just a little teary eyed.
ROZ Ha. The onions will do that to you.
BETH Huh? .⦠O yeah, ha.
[Fade out]
avi
W3RK3R
RealmArchitect
"Cordwainer Bird"
hahaha, bible advice, thats great! but i find that dialogue interesting. would you sell your soul for an endless supply of pizza?
This is one of those instances, like you know when you read the pro-palestine literature you find somewhere and the whole time you're saying, ok they have a point, ok this makes sense.. wait wtf did they just say?! and you can no longer read their silly webpage.
xfer
I JERK OFF TO ARCTOPUS
FalseTodd
Skirt Wizard
I dunno bout that, but I do know, Alex, if you were trying to curb Toby's anti-religious streak in some roundabout way you did a piss-poor job.
When I click on to a site called onion.com, I expect to see more onions than displayed here... Therefore I found that site deceptive as stated in the head of the thread.
