love iTunes... i just turn off the bullshit i don't like, and i've never had to reset my default view settings, so not sure why that happened to you. i do hate that i had to use some under-the-hood script to turn off the little store arrows... that annoyed me, but i got over it... iTunes is excellent... i love life with iTunes... and yes, i've tried plenty of other options, including Songbird, which is pretty much just "open source iTunes". i know the open-source aspect appeals to some, but not me... don't care. iTunes does what i need it to do and then some. everything else that i don't like i turn off.
one thing i really love is how i can add "remote" speakers via my wireless network and a few Airport Expresses... iTunes lets you add as many as you like... so when i play something on iTunes, i can have it throughout my house in every room i have speakers and an airport express in, and control it all wirelessly with my iPhone, cueing albums, songs, playlists, and turning whichever speakers i want on/off.
as long as they keep these features, and the unparalleled media management, i'll deal with any petty annoyances that pop up, and never change again.