TESTAMENT-singer CHUCK BILLY explains how cancer, which he luckily has defeated by now, changed his attitude towards life and music and how he reconnected with his indian heritage.
Last year was bad news for Chuck Billy: During a routine medical check on March 19th a tumor was found in his chest. Several operations and a chemo-therapy followed, while the loud voiced Pomo Indian was treated by medicine men. A couple weeks ago Billy was given a clean bill of health: He beat cancer! HAMMER met the singer of Testament a few days before his 40th birthday (June 23th) at his home in small californian town where lives with his wife, his 15-year-old son, his long-time buddy Walter and a little dog named Harley.
Chuck, how is your health?
Two weeks ago I saw a doctor to find out whether I have to be operated on one more time ñ and he just said: Get lost and never come back! (laughs) The tumor got removed, but was growing around the heart valve. So the doctors could not get everything out ñ a little bit of tissue remained, but it's not dangerous and will be absorbed by my body. I was more than luckily anyhow, because I saw a lot of people who felt really bad during their chemo. I was waiting for it to happen to me, but it didn't.
How many operations and chemo-treatments did you have to endure?
Four. The one on Oct. 1st involved open heart surgery. The chemo therapy lastet twelve weeks, five days a week, six hours daily.
Are you constricted now in a way, for instance while doing sports?
No, even if I felt some problems initially, because the chemo damaged my lungs. But this is getting better, especially since I started working out again. This affected my singing, too, of course, so I'm taking one step at a time. Right now I'm working on a side band (Suicide Shift ñ Ed.), especially since Eric still has a lot of writing to do for Testament. So I will get my health back in shape to be completely ready, if things get going.
So the fans will have to wait a long time?
Eric put a lot of time and passion in his black metal-project Dragonlord and tends to write in that style these days. In my opinion this doesn't suit Testament. We met several times to exchange ideas, and on the first meeting a lot of the riffs sounded like Dragonlord. I said: That's not us! So Eric had to reconnect with our history and listen to the old albums again to think in that style again. We've been around for a long time, because we stayed true to our music ñ not because we tried to come up with something new. But Eric is working on it.
Did you have to kick ass to make him return to his day-job of being the riff smith in Testament?
Well... yes. (laughs) But there was no bad blood. I just wanted to avoid putting our time into a record were not comfortable with and have no common ground in. Both of us have to be happy with the songs ñ just like THE GATHERING. We're not in that state yet. By the way, Steve Smyth and Jon Allen are involved, too: They jam new Testament riffs with Eric during Dragonlord-rehearsals.
Do you sing differently after your lung was affected by the treatment?
Now that I started working out and do some singing after a long pause, my voice feels strong ñ especially since I haven't abused it for a year (laughs). But rehearsals and live-show are like day and night. Normally my voice has this rasp, but I'm not there yet. I am very happy with my work on THE GATHERING, and this is how I want to do it. The songs of my side band Suicide Shift are based more on classical metal, the riffs are less overloaded than in the thrash of Testament. So I can try to sing more, because there's more room for melody.
During the chemo you lost your hair ñ which is a small price to pay for staying alive.
Sure. But I hadn't had short hair since 7th grade ñ and I don't like it. My wife digs it, and of course my mom, too. It's weird: People used to stare at me because of the long hair and the lot of tattoos. Now, nobody's looking: Hey, am I not intimidating anymore? (laughs) But my hair is growing fast. Should we tour before it's back to the normal length, I would use extensions like I did at the Dynamo 2000. I need something to headbang with!
Did your attitude towards life or music change?
Yes. I learned to value everything a little bit more: my friends, my family, everything feels more intense now. And I learned to express what's going on inside of me ñ which I haven't been doing that much in the past. I'm more open and friendly towards people now.
So you came out of this dark chapter in your life with a positive attitude?
Indeed. This has a lot to do with three or four indian medicine men I visited during that time, which helped me a lot. I was raised in a catholic family, but after growing up i didn't care much about religion ñ until the diagnosis came. I visited the medicine men ñ and dealt with my heritage. Indians believe that god is in everything. This belief helped me to be strong and positive. I even took my son to sweat lodges, some kind of an indian sauna, which takes place in a tent which is pitch black and has red hot stones in the middle. There you thank for everything: water, sky, everything. People do chants or use percussion instruments. There is a lot of energy. Afterwards you go outside and sit around a sacred fire pit, where a healing ritual gets performed on you, which cleans your body. The first time a medicine man visited me at home, he took me on this journey through the wind: He was playing a flute, that sounded like coyotes howling in the night. With an eagle's feather, he made the sound of birds over my face and so on. It was a trip, man, I felt like I was floating. He said that things will happen that I wouldn't understand but will make sense. During the healing he moved his feather over my body ñ and I felt that something moved from my heart, where the tumor was, to my stomach! In the following days I had a hard time going to the bathroom and my stomach hurt. One night I woke up at five in the morning. It was very, very windy outside. I went to the toilet ñ and something left my body. I felt right at that moment that I was cured ñ and the wind died! I was freaking out! It's an interesting thing how I met this medicine man in the first place: A friend told me that we were very similar and should meet. But we kept missing each other ñ until she told about a dream she had: He and I were siting around a fire putting war paint on to go to war. And what happens then? We meet at my house and go to war against cancer! Weird, huh? Things like this and some journeys into the mountains brought me back to indian spirituality. A medicine man taught me how to control my body with my mind. Later on, during the chemo, the tumor was shrinking so fast that even the doctors were wondering. But I didn't tell them anything about it.
So you did not only survive a serious disease, but even gained something from it?
The question of life or death made a better person out of me, I guess. This had consequences for my marriage and family life. In the past, I didn't really open up to anyone, now I do.
Do this have any effect on your music?
The music is secondary right now. In the past, everything evolved around music, all the rest happened along with it. Now life itself is more important, and music is a wonderful bonus. I know that we won't sell a million records, and there is no pressure from record companies to record new material. Of course, the fans are waiting, so we want to get going. But right now what's important to me is being happy with my family and friends. If we write good music, too, that people dig ñ Killer! We don't have anything to prove, we want to have fun. If nobody likes it, we're having fun anyway.
Did your lyrics change? Can you still sing lines like 'Do Not Resuscitate'?
I can and will still sing about death. Most of the lyrics on THE GATHERING deals with personal stuff and experiences, and I want to keep that. I'm ready to write again, since this whole thing with my health has to be dealt with. The day the doctor told me I had cancer, I didn't realise it at first. It was only later that I understood the whole significance, when I told my wife about it. It hit me like a hammer, we were crying the whole day long, because I thought I was dying. Already on the next morning I said to myself: "Man, don't be a wimp, be strong and positive. Don't be a baby!" I immediately started the therapy and the spiritual guidance. Maybe I have a guardian angel.
Last year was bad news for Chuck Billy: During a routine medical check on March 19th a tumor was found in his chest. Several operations and a chemo-therapy followed, while the loud voiced Pomo Indian was treated by medicine men. A couple weeks ago Billy was given a clean bill of health: He beat cancer! HAMMER met the singer of Testament a few days before his 40th birthday (June 23th) at his home in small californian town where lives with his wife, his 15-year-old son, his long-time buddy Walter and a little dog named Harley.
Chuck, how is your health?
Two weeks ago I saw a doctor to find out whether I have to be operated on one more time ñ and he just said: Get lost and never come back! (laughs) The tumor got removed, but was growing around the heart valve. So the doctors could not get everything out ñ a little bit of tissue remained, but it's not dangerous and will be absorbed by my body. I was more than luckily anyhow, because I saw a lot of people who felt really bad during their chemo. I was waiting for it to happen to me, but it didn't.
How many operations and chemo-treatments did you have to endure?
Four. The one on Oct. 1st involved open heart surgery. The chemo therapy lastet twelve weeks, five days a week, six hours daily.
Are you constricted now in a way, for instance while doing sports?
No, even if I felt some problems initially, because the chemo damaged my lungs. But this is getting better, especially since I started working out again. This affected my singing, too, of course, so I'm taking one step at a time. Right now I'm working on a side band (Suicide Shift ñ Ed.), especially since Eric still has a lot of writing to do for Testament. So I will get my health back in shape to be completely ready, if things get going.
So the fans will have to wait a long time?
Eric put a lot of time and passion in his black metal-project Dragonlord and tends to write in that style these days. In my opinion this doesn't suit Testament. We met several times to exchange ideas, and on the first meeting a lot of the riffs sounded like Dragonlord. I said: That's not us! So Eric had to reconnect with our history and listen to the old albums again to think in that style again. We've been around for a long time, because we stayed true to our music ñ not because we tried to come up with something new. But Eric is working on it.
Did you have to kick ass to make him return to his day-job of being the riff smith in Testament?
Well... yes. (laughs) But there was no bad blood. I just wanted to avoid putting our time into a record were not comfortable with and have no common ground in. Both of us have to be happy with the songs ñ just like THE GATHERING. We're not in that state yet. By the way, Steve Smyth and Jon Allen are involved, too: They jam new Testament riffs with Eric during Dragonlord-rehearsals.
Do you sing differently after your lung was affected by the treatment?
Now that I started working out and do some singing after a long pause, my voice feels strong ñ especially since I haven't abused it for a year (laughs). But rehearsals and live-show are like day and night. Normally my voice has this rasp, but I'm not there yet. I am very happy with my work on THE GATHERING, and this is how I want to do it. The songs of my side band Suicide Shift are based more on classical metal, the riffs are less overloaded than in the thrash of Testament. So I can try to sing more, because there's more room for melody.
During the chemo you lost your hair ñ which is a small price to pay for staying alive.
Sure. But I hadn't had short hair since 7th grade ñ and I don't like it. My wife digs it, and of course my mom, too. It's weird: People used to stare at me because of the long hair and the lot of tattoos. Now, nobody's looking: Hey, am I not intimidating anymore? (laughs) But my hair is growing fast. Should we tour before it's back to the normal length, I would use extensions like I did at the Dynamo 2000. I need something to headbang with!
Did your attitude towards life or music change?
Yes. I learned to value everything a little bit more: my friends, my family, everything feels more intense now. And I learned to express what's going on inside of me ñ which I haven't been doing that much in the past. I'm more open and friendly towards people now.
So you came out of this dark chapter in your life with a positive attitude?
Indeed. This has a lot to do with three or four indian medicine men I visited during that time, which helped me a lot. I was raised in a catholic family, but after growing up i didn't care much about religion ñ until the diagnosis came. I visited the medicine men ñ and dealt with my heritage. Indians believe that god is in everything. This belief helped me to be strong and positive. I even took my son to sweat lodges, some kind of an indian sauna, which takes place in a tent which is pitch black and has red hot stones in the middle. There you thank for everything: water, sky, everything. People do chants or use percussion instruments. There is a lot of energy. Afterwards you go outside and sit around a sacred fire pit, where a healing ritual gets performed on you, which cleans your body. The first time a medicine man visited me at home, he took me on this journey through the wind: He was playing a flute, that sounded like coyotes howling in the night. With an eagle's feather, he made the sound of birds over my face and so on. It was a trip, man, I felt like I was floating. He said that things will happen that I wouldn't understand but will make sense. During the healing he moved his feather over my body ñ and I felt that something moved from my heart, where the tumor was, to my stomach! In the following days I had a hard time going to the bathroom and my stomach hurt. One night I woke up at five in the morning. It was very, very windy outside. I went to the toilet ñ and something left my body. I felt right at that moment that I was cured ñ and the wind died! I was freaking out! It's an interesting thing how I met this medicine man in the first place: A friend told me that we were very similar and should meet. But we kept missing each other ñ until she told about a dream she had: He and I were siting around a fire putting war paint on to go to war. And what happens then? We meet at my house and go to war against cancer! Weird, huh? Things like this and some journeys into the mountains brought me back to indian spirituality. A medicine man taught me how to control my body with my mind. Later on, during the chemo, the tumor was shrinking so fast that even the doctors were wondering. But I didn't tell them anything about it.
So you did not only survive a serious disease, but even gained something from it?
The question of life or death made a better person out of me, I guess. This had consequences for my marriage and family life. In the past, I didn't really open up to anyone, now I do.
Do this have any effect on your music?
The music is secondary right now. In the past, everything evolved around music, all the rest happened along with it. Now life itself is more important, and music is a wonderful bonus. I know that we won't sell a million records, and there is no pressure from record companies to record new material. Of course, the fans are waiting, so we want to get going. But right now what's important to me is being happy with my family and friends. If we write good music, too, that people dig ñ Killer! We don't have anything to prove, we want to have fun. If nobody likes it, we're having fun anyway.
Did your lyrics change? Can you still sing lines like 'Do Not Resuscitate'?
I can and will still sing about death. Most of the lyrics on THE GATHERING deals with personal stuff and experiences, and I want to keep that. I'm ready to write again, since this whole thing with my health has to be dealt with. The day the doctor told me I had cancer, I didn't realise it at first. It was only later that I understood the whole significance, when I told my wife about it. It hit me like a hammer, we were crying the whole day long, because I thought I was dying. Already on the next morning I said to myself: "Man, don't be a wimp, be strong and positive. Don't be a baby!" I immediately started the therapy and the spiritual guidance. Maybe I have a guardian angel.
.
