Last month two-thirds of my department petitioned to have our labor union decertified. The election is 4 days away and I'll be driving in on my day off to vote to put the ixnay on this band of brigands we've affectionately coined, "The Black Panthers." Filthy fucking negars are pushing to have our dues raised to the equivalent of 2 1/2 hours pay. That would be all fine and dandy if they offered any service whatsoever. Hell I'd settle for a "I'm a member of Union X and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Alas, I'm stuck with my dick in my hand (for unrelated reasons), as this band of knuckle dragging laggards file grievance after grievance against their supervisors who simply want them to perform the menial tasks assigned to them. Heads on a stick, I say! There's 100 people total in my department and the primary shop steward who has a messianic complex in the vein of Malcolm X pulls the race card at every bend, turn, and banana leap, in which he can comfortably exert himself. Hell, we had one guy come in who challenged a couple of my co-workers to parking lot fisticuffs, and due to him being an overgrown milksop who was slurping at teat of Papa Silverback, the managerial staff's hands were tied. They had to bring in a lawyer just to cover their keisters to initiate a kibosh on said illiterate malcontent. Fucker looked like a stand in for Michael Clarke Duncan. Anyhow, my point is, Live Better, Work Union is an outdated slogan which holds no relevance in the 21st century. There's plenty of labor laws to protect the employee from a hazardous work environment or wrongful termination. No prepubescent is getting their knuckles grounded in a grimy factory. (Unless you're a negar, but what can a union do to protect a porch monkey against pavement?) Hell half of California's budget crisis stems from unions. It's quite common for a civil servant to make over 100k, retire at 45, then receive a pension of 80% of their high mark pay for the remainder of their years. This wouldn't be so damn bad if I could drive down the street without jarring my c4/c5 vertebrae whilst cruising over potholes.
More on this development later, I need to go get silky smooth.
More on this development later, I need to go get silky smooth.
