Metal fun

[carnut]

The captured princess vs. the Metalheads

This is the situation....there's a beautiful princess trapped in a
castle watched by a dragon......
here's the end of the story with different styles of metalheads as
knights.....

POWER METAL:
the protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted
forest

THRASH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and
f**ks her.........easy...than drinks a beer

HEAVY METAL:
the protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and f**ks the princess

FOLK METAL:
the protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordeons, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep
(because of all the dancing)...then all leave....without the princess

SPEED METAL:
the protagonist arrives in a blur, starts running around the dragon so
fast that it breaks its neck from trying to see him, then runs all
over the castle, climbing each staircase three times, screwing the
princess at the record speed and disappears before she even realises
what's happening

VIKING METAL:
the protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy
axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals
her belongings and burns the castle before leaving

DEATH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f**ks the princess and
kills her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:
the protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it
in front of the castle.....then sodomises the princess, drinks her
blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the princess
next to the dragon

GORE METAL:
the protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in
front of the castle, f**ks the princess and kills her....then he f**ks
the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts.....then he
f**ks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**ks it
for the last time

DOOM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he
could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits
suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as
dessert...that's the end of the sad story

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
the protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26
minutes....the dragon kills himself out of boredom.....the protagonist
arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the
technics and tunes he learned in the last year of the
conservatory...the princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL"
protagonist

GLAM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and
lets him enter.....he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint
the castle in a beautiful pink colour

 

[JonnyD]

Yes! I saw this on the Progpower Board .. Nothing like having fun with metal Clichies

 

[Ayeka]

lmmfaao I'd show that to my mates but I don't think they'd get it

 

[Greeno]

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
the protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26
minutes....the dragon kills himself out of boredom.....the protagonist
arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the
technics and tunes he learned in the last year of the
conservatory...the princess escapes looking for the "HEAVY METAL"
protagonist

GLAM METAL:
the protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and
lets him enter.....he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint
the castle in a beautiful pink colour

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These 2 are my favorites!

 

[Hawk]

Yea they are great! On the prog X board they also made one for Tech-Metal. I am going to look it up. If I can find it.

 

[Metal Dog]

o.k. this is great but I can't make up my mind which would make the best prince although there is a couple that get struck off the list straight away and I think the dragon could do with a lesson on discrimination he should just eat them all no questions asked

 

[Griffin-]

lol yeah those are funny

 

[delize]

I know exactly which one would make the best prince for me MD he he he! Care to Guess?

 

[Metal Dog]

I know exactly which one would make the best prince for me MD he he he! Care to Guess?

Hey Dee
None of them 'cause men are all a**holes? hang on thats my choice The dragon 'cause he's easier to take care of and he'll love you more than any man I mean he's looked after you for ages in that castle after all? Seriously though I wouldn't like to say which you'd pick so tell me.

 

[delize]

Well you make such a good point I think I changed my mind and go for none! So yeah... you are right...the dragon would be ok... if only he didn't smoke

 

[Metal Dog]

Well you make such a good point I think I changed my mind and go for none! So yeah... you are right...the dragon would be ok... if only he didn't smoke

I don't think all dragons do smoke I'll have to look it up and let you know but which were you gonna go for before?

 

[delize]

You just gotta know huh? This one of course

THRASH METAL:
the protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and
f**ks her.........easy...than drinks a beer

 

[Metal Dog]

I should'a guessed hahaha

 

[delize]

 

[Metal Dog]

I think we should add one with a brain that doesn't fight with the dragon because he realises that the dragon has only been protecting the princess until the right man came along and in fact the dragon will be glad to be able to get away from guarding the princess and get home.

 

[baldyboy]

in your dreams woman!!

i'd wanna know that the princess
A:gave great head
B:cooked awsome italian and chinese food
c:accepted the fact that i wouldnt be around much for her

before tackling said dragon for her affections.
must be a bitch for the knight who slays the dragon and gets the princess,only to find out she's the lousiest lay he's ever had huh?

 

[Metal Dog]

As an afterthought what sort of princes would you guys be anyway?

 

[Metal Dog]

in your dreams woman!!

i'd wanna know that the princess
A:gave great head
B:cooked awsome italian and chinese food
c:accepted the fact that i wouldnt be around much for her

before tackling said dragon for her affections.
must be a bitch for the knight who slays the dragon and gets the princess,only to find out she's the lousiest lay he's ever had huh?

If she's the lousiest lay he's ever had surely this reflects badly on him too after all it takes two to tango and after slaying a dragon he should see it as just another challenge to help make her better and who knows how good she is if he doesn't slay the dragon? She might be mindblowing and thats why she's looked in a dragon guarded tower to protect the men of the world from her

 

[Metal Dog]

As for the great head a good rule to follow is you get what you give

 

[baldyboy]

i give good baby,something i enjoy a lot

point taken on the other stuff tho!!