I need it. No one else will listen to me, and i really couldn't give a FUCK if anyone thinks I'm just bitching!!! I need to get it off my chest, no one else will listen, my word prossesser is shit, and when a certain little argument occured, i was here, so I decided to vent right here. CRAM IT IF YOU THINK THIS IS A WASTE, JUST DON'T RESPOND.
This life I’m in. What a paradise. A grandmother(whom I can’t decide whether I love her or not.) who acts like the next fascist dictator, ruling us all with an iron fist, not having the slightest bit of sympathy for her own fucking daughter and lives in her own false world of glory, glitz and glamour.
A mother (whom I love more than the world, though I seem to always fuck up our relationship)who frequently gets into anxiety attacks, who has a self confidence level that reaches the depths of Hell, who thinks negatively about her self, blames EVERYONE (including myself for a god damn key ring) for thinking everything wrong in the world is her fault, frustrating everyone around her, pushing herself deeper into the murky depths of depression, perhaps thinking about suicide, not knowing or caring who she hurts if she were to do that She likes putting words in people’s mouth to make them look like the bad guy, and never listens to reason. She has a tendency to blow things out of proportion, thus setting off yet another anxiety attack and adding more stress on her already full plate.
A father (whom I try to love so much, he tends to seem to push away sometimes)who has a temper as long as the minute waltz, who has a problem understanding and dealing with high pressure, or important decisions and instead, blows up and runs away, rather than solving it, making it worse.
I have a "friend" who won’t leave me alone, keeping the friendship alive, though a part of me just wishes that it would wither up and die. He has a Napoleon complex, also has an inferiority complex and instead of just leaving it alone, like myself, he brings others down, using harsh words of criticism(even when it’s not wanted), insults and using an almighty tone when describing himself always. He will NEVER let down in anything, until someone else lets down first, turns everything into a competition. He wants power, power he does not have and will never achieve, if he continues in this path.
Then there’s me...I can’t do a single god damn thing right ,I have a MASSIVE, Godzilla sized inferiority complex, rarely gets any genuine encouragement or respect, I don’t know my niche in life and am afraid of never knowing what I’m good at, fear of being truly alone in life, though I ALWAYS feel loneliness, even in a roomful of loved ones, I’m afraid of death, though sometimes I think I should embrace it. I’m weak, both physically and emotionally. I feel like the whole world is crashing down on me, and I’m falling fast I can be very greedy and selfish, though I’m trying to change that, I’m hard-headed as fuck and stubborn as a mule. And I can’t seem to get a girlfriend for the life of me.
This life I’m in. What a paradise. A grandmother(whom I can’t decide whether I love her or not.) who acts like the next fascist dictator, ruling us all with an iron fist, not having the slightest bit of sympathy for her own fucking daughter and lives in her own false world of glory, glitz and glamour.
A mother (whom I love more than the world, though I seem to always fuck up our relationship)who frequently gets into anxiety attacks, who has a self confidence level that reaches the depths of Hell, who thinks negatively about her self, blames EVERYONE (including myself for a god damn key ring) for thinking everything wrong in the world is her fault, frustrating everyone around her, pushing herself deeper into the murky depths of depression, perhaps thinking about suicide, not knowing or caring who she hurts if she were to do that She likes putting words in people’s mouth to make them look like the bad guy, and never listens to reason. She has a tendency to blow things out of proportion, thus setting off yet another anxiety attack and adding more stress on her already full plate.
A father (whom I try to love so much, he tends to seem to push away sometimes)who has a temper as long as the minute waltz, who has a problem understanding and dealing with high pressure, or important decisions and instead, blows up and runs away, rather than solving it, making it worse.
I have a "friend" who won’t leave me alone, keeping the friendship alive, though a part of me just wishes that it would wither up and die. He has a Napoleon complex, also has an inferiority complex and instead of just leaving it alone, like myself, he brings others down, using harsh words of criticism(even when it’s not wanted), insults and using an almighty tone when describing himself always. He will NEVER let down in anything, until someone else lets down first, turns everything into a competition. He wants power, power he does not have and will never achieve, if he continues in this path.
Then there’s me...I can’t do a single god damn thing right ,I have a MASSIVE, Godzilla sized inferiority complex, rarely gets any genuine encouragement or respect, I don’t know my niche in life and am afraid of never knowing what I’m good at, fear of being truly alone in life, though I ALWAYS feel loneliness, even in a roomful of loved ones, I’m afraid of death, though sometimes I think I should embrace it. I’m weak, both physically and emotionally. I feel like the whole world is crashing down on me, and I’m falling fast I can be very greedy and selfish, though I’m trying to change that, I’m hard-headed as fuck and stubborn as a mule. And I can’t seem to get a girlfriend for the life of me.
