Funny shit, I had to reply to some of this in two parts
1. Total dumbass moment with a brush of greatness. This was back like in 1983 or 1984 not sure but it was during Accept's Metal Heart tour. They were touring with Coney Hatch (remember them?) and Rough Cutt on the bill. My friend Steve (who is probably one of the very few black headbangers I have ever known) and I were at the Hollywood Paladium for that show. Well we had a little to drink (enough to have a nice buzz) maybe about a 6 pack each but Steve was a total pot head. I would smoke out from time to time if it was free and usually with Steve it was free since his brother had "connections".
Well I don't know what the fuck we smoked that night but the shits was potent and probably laced with something. I was so fucken stoned I couldn't see straight (yet I somehow remember some of this shit)
So we are hanging near the stage (mind you security in the 80's was totaly kick back, heck if you passed a doobie to one of them guards they smoke it with you) checking out Coney Hatch and Rough Cutt...sometime during the middle of the Rouch Cutt set everyone I guess decided to rush the stage and we were like in the front getting mangled. Well my friend Steve pulls me out before I suffocate to death (oh yeah and we were still smoking inside the show) so we make our way towards the back. I am so fucken stoned my eyes were beyond glossy
and I am standing next to like 3 or 4 people. My friend Steve kept poking me and kept saying "dude" "oh my God look who you're next too!" I kept looking over and although I did see a hot looking chick (well for me) and a couple of ugly looking bastards
I kept thinking wtf is he talking about? Finally, I did a double take (keep in mind I am only 5'6") and standing next to my stoned ass is probably one of the best Heavy Metal Vocalist ever! It turns out I was standing next to Ronnie James Dio all along...well fuck me I was speechless!!! I am not a shy person
at all but at that point and time I didn't know wtf to say...well neither did my friend Steve who just kept smiling at Dio. The only words that came out of my mouth were "Hello Mr. Dio" and some gibberish to this day for the life of me I can't remember what I said. I had the stupid ass grin on my face and felt I was going to pass out...I do remember Ronnie saying something like "Thank you, thank you very much" but for some reason I kept getting a tape recording in my head of Elvis!
It turned out the other people with him was his wife at the time Wendy Dio, his keyboardist Claude Schnell and bassist Jimmy Bain...I believe Dio or his wife produced the Rough Cutt album or something so they were there checking them out. I also heard that Dio's wife at the time Wendy had some sort of an affair with a member of Rough Cutt. Not sure in the truth about that...but I am sure one of you might know.
It's embarassing enough to make a jackass out of yourself but what's even worse is when you are too fucken' stoned to even do that. To this date, I have never got a chance to me Ronnie in person again in which I place as one of my top 5 vocalist ever!!! Oh well, the good thing is I stopped smoking pot years ago...the bad thing is, I still drink a lot to make up for my stupidity!
2. Shit had to edit this because I forgot point 2. Since we all seem to be in touch with our manhood, I guess there is no shame in talking about your "whack off" stories!
My favorite is coming home from school one day and finding some Jehovah's Witness or some sort of literature on my bed. Keep in mind my mother is from Spain so I am staring at some Spanish literature on my bed. I am going like wtf is this? I started to look at it and they had these illustration (it might have been some Christian cartoon book or something can't remember but they had these cartoon books that always had some sort of message) and it was about sex and masturbating and all the other no-no sex stuff. I remember one of the books was ear marked to this page specifically talking about whacking off and how guility it is and shit like that. Well first thing that comes to my mind is OH shit she found my stash...sure enough I got to my secret compartment (aka a loose board) and my stash is gone. I could not face my mother at the dinner table for like 2 weeks...I guess the guilt thing worked...for a while
then I found a new hiding place...to this date (my parents still live in the same house) I am willing to bet that a collectors issue of Penthouse, Oui and Squank (or whatever that mag was called) are still there!
Cheers! Tony
