My wife loves me

[Jim LotFP]

She bought me a Terrorizer today!

With a FEAR CANDY CD! w000t! Now I can discover what Norma Jean and My Cross to Bare sound like!

Quotes of magnificence and eloquence to follow, I'm sure.

I don't know whether she did it because she wants the Opeth poster, because she knew I just ordered Celtic Frost and Venom albums and they're mentioned on the cover, or because she knew I want to sit at the computer and record album review points.

http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/g/F/taliban_singles.gif

 

[Jim LotFP]

Fear Candy track 1: Dragonforce

There is hope for Sanna. She HATES this. "This singer sounds like Don Vito doing his double chin vibrato." "This is horrible."

About the band photo: "Is this photo from the 80s? He's holding his penis!"

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 2: Children of Bodom

Sanna: "What happened to Children of Bodom? They used to be decent."

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 3: The Berzerker

Me: "I've seen these guys live."

Sanna: "I'm so jealous."

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 7: Ion Dissonance

"Jesus! Did you have to be utterly talentless to be on this CD or something?"

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 8: L'Acephale

Sanna turned the stereo down.

The insert says the album this is on is limited to 100 copies. I hope they didn't pay to be on this fargin' thing then.

"Oh my god! It gets worse and worse!"

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 9: Earthride

"Seriously, how do they decide who to put on these CDs?"

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 10: Worms of Sabnock

No comments from Sanna but jeez. Symphonic blakky metal that stops for a flute breakdown and a "C'MON!" from the singer. Terrorizer even has a great line. "Just like being at church... in Hell." Where's my wallet?

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 11: Norma Jean

Terrorizer: "Their technical riffs feel as if they're stabbing at your brain." Yeah.

Sanna skips this after 15 seconds.

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 12: Profane

Skipped after 30 seconds.

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 13: My Cross to Bare

Terrorizer says "Tight as fuck and soon to be your new favourite band."

Sanna says it gets skipped after like five seconds.

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 14: Nine Days to No One

She has the most depressed look on her face by now.

"The whole song is like this." *search search "Hold on, something happened. No, I was wrong."

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 15: Deathstars

"Well this is the best I've heard so far! Hold on, let me listen to it."

"It sounds like Finnish goth metal. 69 Eyes. Jesus Christ. Exactly. This is like a gayer version of 69 Eyes if possible. It's still decent. I like it. I can move to this."

"Are you typing everything I'm doing?"

 

[Jim LotFP]

Track 16: Chain Collector

"Well that's an original riff. So we just repeat it 20 times! They would have potential if they used more guitar riffs and could sing. I like the melody in the chorus, but this is just lame."

What didn't she really comment on? She thought Edguy and One Man Army and the Undead Quartet were "not as bad as all the others" and she didn't like Thyrfing.

 

[Occam's Razor]

Seems there is a lot of potential in the contemporary metal world.