Random/Funny/inspirational/etc quotes thread

Dred

Dred

His Dudeness
Jan 8, 2002
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Massachusetts
Ok, i dunno bout all of you, but im a HUGE quotes person. and i searched for a thread on here for quotes, but i couldnt find one. so if there was one, yell at me, if not, feel free to post any quote youd like here, famous or not. comeon, have some fun with it....fuckers.

to start it off....

from Donnie Darko:
"First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?"
 
Guy#1, holding picture found outside of sauna
"...so granted moral ethics are removed from the picture... Would you have hot steamy sex with this young tramp?"

Guy being asked -
"No, not even drunk! I mean, well, she really is ugly to look at, no offense but that has to be the body double from the blue lagoon, the really ugly one"
*laughs scornfully*

Guy whos girlfriend is apparantly being discussed
"WTF? Where did you get that picture, asshole?"

Result= big punch out in towels (weird to watch!!!) So the inspirational quate? Well..
Never invite people you don't know into a sauna, it might be their family you just dumped on! :lol:
 
"And by the way, the guitarist who played the main lick/riff on "The Way Of The Warrior", If you are as true metal as you say, then why don't you be a "warrior" and pick all the notes on the riff! Didn`t you know that pull-offs are for false metal wimps, dude??!!"


-Alexi referring to Hammerfall.
 
"Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movie's gonna make some huge bank.
Jay: What buzz?
Holden: The Internet buzz.
Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?"

- from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

edit: and another one from the same movie:

"Jay: Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we use to ride that shit to school every morning for free?"
 
"Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you"
-from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
 
My favs:

„Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.”

„Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.” (Galadriel)

"True friends stab you in the front." (Oscar Wilde)

„People’s whole life do pass in front of their eyes before they die. The process is called ’living’.” (Terry Prachett)

„The power of pessimism: an optimist is never happily surprised.”

„Light travels faster than sound, that's why people seem bright until you hear them.”

„Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.” (Albert Einstein)

„I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.” (Woody Allen)

„Opinions are like butt-holes… everybody has one”

„Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.” (Ozzy Osbourne)

"Many who dies deserve life. Many who live deserves death." (J.R.R. Tolkien)
 
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