In the perspective of fairness, after reading Stun's review of Machine Head,
I decided that fair was fair and it was only fair to review Stun's website,
his CoB Lyrics and his own music, those Midi's he so strongly defends....
The Website
I click on his link and get teleported to his website but you'd never know it
was his website, or anyone's for that matter. At the top center of the page,
there's some annoying advertising bar for Isley Bros bargain cd's where
everyone else normally has a title bar. There's no menu bar anywhere,
so navigating through the website is difficult. The front page is the news
page and the links page, all thrown together messily. There's no identity
anywhere. There's no graphics, nothing interesting. It's very generic.
Yellow font on black background is just plain ugly. Poor people buy
generic food where the packaging is plain yellow with a black font.
Example, a bag of generic tortilla chips just says "Tortilla Chips" in plain
regular black font. This website is just like that.
The text is crowded right up against the counter which most people put
at the bottom of the page. It's anyone's guess why it's at the top where
a title and menu should be.
The colors for the links are even uglier. The unvisited links are lavendar
and the visited link colors are lime green or florescent green. Either way,
it's an ugly, putrid green. It reminds of bad 80's clothing.
With such atrocious link colors, I have one question. Are you a gay man
waiting to come out of the closet? You'd never catch any self respecting
homosexual using such bad gay colors for links. Especially against a plain
black background. Stun, are you colorblind?
At the bottom of the page, there's some annoying rapidly flashing banner
bar that shakes and makes my eyes hurt.
Who wants to win a prize on Stuns site? Answer: nobody.
Also, there's a dead link that deprives everyone of Stun's midi musicial
masterpieces.
http://www.angelfire.com/band2/bodom/mymusic/14_Kassastsujizai.mid
I click on that and get a dead page.
the icon next to the 'news' column looks like an Easter Island Statue thing.
It's cheesy. It's not metal, it's not tr00, it's just cheesy. Looks kind of like
the robot mask Styx used for the "Mr. Roboto" video.
The links for the CoB lyrics are messy. The name of the record itself is
italicized next to words that are in regular font, but it's hard to distinguish
when it's in ugly lavendar. Plus, those links are crowded together. A line
seperator should be used to make it look better.
The whole front page just looks cramped. Even most geocities web pages
look more flashy and more professional than this attempt.
The Lyrics Pages
words of wisdom: plain grey backgrounds are ugly.
The lyrics are organized and displayed messily.
There's no order to them. Most people who do lyric pages notate where the
verses are, where the bridge lyrics are, where the pre-chorus lyrics are,
and where the chorus lyrics are. There's none of this.
It's just a mish-mash of clutter. Very poor.
The titles are noted with brackets {}. most people underline the title.
One hyphen is used to acknowledge some kind of lyric, but what kind is
confusing. If it's spoken, most people indicated 'spoken' but it's anyone's
guess really. Two hyphens indicate a solo:
-- solo -- ale
Most people indicate solos like this:
Solo: Tipton
or
Solo: Demmel, Flynn
On the "Follow the Reaper" and "Mask of Sanity" and "Taste of Scythe"
lyrics there's an indication of a 'solo duet' and then on "Kissing the Shadows"
and "Latomeri" and "Silent Scream" there's an indication of a 'solo duel'
What is a "Solo Duel?" Is 20 paces involved? Was it meant to be 'Solo Duet?'
What is a "Solo Duel?"
On a couple of song lyrics it's noted who wrote the lyrics, but that's only
like 2 or 3 instances, but most of them it's not noted. Either be consistent
or don't bother. Who wrote the other lyrics? that's confusing. On every
album I've ever seen, the lyrics to every song are indicated, like:
"All lyrics by Flynn" or "All Lyrics by Flynn, except 2 and 4 by Flynn & Duce"
Be consistent.
The Midi's
The Midi's sound like a cross between Herbie Hancock and a Godflesh/Fudge
Tunnel hybrid,....but done really badly. There's no rational structure to the
songs, it's just several minutes of sound diarrhea. There's so much replication
of sounds in each song, it's hard to even tell the songs apart let alone know
what song you're listening to. Even Harold Faltomeyer who did "Axel F" for
the Beverly Hills Cop Soundtrack would laugh at these. Alex Newport would
tell the composer to hang himself for such compositions and disgracing
music in such ill and disrespectful regard.
Trent Reznor would laugh hysterically and call the composer a 'pussy.'
Midi is for people who cant play real instruments.
If I had to choose between elevator music and these midi songs, which is
just plain excruciating no matter which way you cut it, I'd have to go for the
elevator music. The elevator music may be bland, but it doesnt give you a
migrane. These Midi's aren't metal. They're noise. If bad noise music was
trendy, this would be the most popular record of all time. I'd rather listen
to P.O.D. than punish my ears mascocistally like this. The cheesy Cameo
funk bass lines do not fit at all with that noise. The drums and percussion
all sound like bad 80's Starship and half the drums sound like pre-programmed
beats for white people with no rhythm and can't even do the shameful
'white guy dance.' In 5th grade back in the early 80's a friend of mine
got one of those Casio keyboards with all the pre-programmed beats and
stuff and the drums sounds on the Midi's are the same ones from those Casio
keyboards for $69.99. One of the songs actually had a 60's Batman theme
song feel which is just wrong on so many levels. The song titles dont even
match with the songs themselves. These Midi songs should be put on an
album called "songs so horrendous you want to commit suicide" .
The best thing you could do is take a 10lb sledgehammer to every piece of
equipment and be done with it and put the equipment out of its misery.
I heard the composer is taking these songs on tour. You'll see him in
bowling alleys across the territory. America's denied a passport to the
Composer and labelled him an "Aural Terrorist." I couldnt find any nu-metal
trademarks on these songs, but there were several "listen to once and
destroy" warnings all over the place. Fingernails on a chalkboard is more
symphonic and stepping on cats and listening to them scream is more
musical.
After hearing this music, I'm now willing to give Celine Dion, Lionel Richie,
and Milli Vanilli another chance....And that's saying a lot.
Everyone's a critic, right Stun? This is just an opinion.
I decided that fair was fair and it was only fair to review Stun's website,
his CoB Lyrics and his own music, those Midi's he so strongly defends....
The Website
I click on his link and get teleported to his website but you'd never know it
was his website, or anyone's for that matter. At the top center of the page,
there's some annoying advertising bar for Isley Bros bargain cd's where
everyone else normally has a title bar. There's no menu bar anywhere,
so navigating through the website is difficult. The front page is the news
page and the links page, all thrown together messily. There's no identity
anywhere. There's no graphics, nothing interesting. It's very generic.
Yellow font on black background is just plain ugly. Poor people buy
generic food where the packaging is plain yellow with a black font.
Example, a bag of generic tortilla chips just says "Tortilla Chips" in plain
regular black font. This website is just like that.
The text is crowded right up against the counter which most people put
at the bottom of the page. It's anyone's guess why it's at the top where
a title and menu should be.
The colors for the links are even uglier. The unvisited links are lavendar
and the visited link colors are lime green or florescent green. Either way,
it's an ugly, putrid green. It reminds of bad 80's clothing.
With such atrocious link colors, I have one question. Are you a gay man
waiting to come out of the closet? You'd never catch any self respecting
homosexual using such bad gay colors for links. Especially against a plain
black background. Stun, are you colorblind?
At the bottom of the page, there's some annoying rapidly flashing banner
bar that shakes and makes my eyes hurt.
Who wants to win a prize on Stuns site? Answer: nobody.
Also, there's a dead link that deprives everyone of Stun's midi musicial
masterpieces.
http://www.angelfire.com/band2/bodom/mymusic/14_Kassastsujizai.mid
I click on that and get a dead page.
the icon next to the 'news' column looks like an Easter Island Statue thing.
It's cheesy. It's not metal, it's not tr00, it's just cheesy. Looks kind of like
the robot mask Styx used for the "Mr. Roboto" video.
The links for the CoB lyrics are messy. The name of the record itself is
italicized next to words that are in regular font, but it's hard to distinguish
when it's in ugly lavendar. Plus, those links are crowded together. A line
seperator should be used to make it look better.
The whole front page just looks cramped. Even most geocities web pages
look more flashy and more professional than this attempt.
The Lyrics Pages
words of wisdom: plain grey backgrounds are ugly.
The lyrics are organized and displayed messily.
There's no order to them. Most people who do lyric pages notate where the
verses are, where the bridge lyrics are, where the pre-chorus lyrics are,
and where the chorus lyrics are. There's none of this.
It's just a mish-mash of clutter. Very poor.
The titles are noted with brackets {}. most people underline the title.
One hyphen is used to acknowledge some kind of lyric, but what kind is
confusing. If it's spoken, most people indicated 'spoken' but it's anyone's
guess really. Two hyphens indicate a solo:
-- solo -- ale
Most people indicate solos like this:
Solo: Tipton
or
Solo: Demmel, Flynn
On the "Follow the Reaper" and "Mask of Sanity" and "Taste of Scythe"
lyrics there's an indication of a 'solo duet' and then on "Kissing the Shadows"
and "Latomeri" and "Silent Scream" there's an indication of a 'solo duel'
What is a "Solo Duel?" Is 20 paces involved? Was it meant to be 'Solo Duet?'
What is a "Solo Duel?"
On a couple of song lyrics it's noted who wrote the lyrics, but that's only
like 2 or 3 instances, but most of them it's not noted. Either be consistent
or don't bother. Who wrote the other lyrics? that's confusing. On every
album I've ever seen, the lyrics to every song are indicated, like:
"All lyrics by Flynn" or "All Lyrics by Flynn, except 2 and 4 by Flynn & Duce"
Be consistent.
The Midi's
The Midi's sound like a cross between Herbie Hancock and a Godflesh/Fudge
Tunnel hybrid,....but done really badly. There's no rational structure to the
songs, it's just several minutes of sound diarrhea. There's so much replication
of sounds in each song, it's hard to even tell the songs apart let alone know
what song you're listening to. Even Harold Faltomeyer who did "Axel F" for
the Beverly Hills Cop Soundtrack would laugh at these. Alex Newport would
tell the composer to hang himself for such compositions and disgracing
music in such ill and disrespectful regard.
Trent Reznor would laugh hysterically and call the composer a 'pussy.'
Midi is for people who cant play real instruments.
If I had to choose between elevator music and these midi songs, which is
just plain excruciating no matter which way you cut it, I'd have to go for the
elevator music. The elevator music may be bland, but it doesnt give you a
migrane. These Midi's aren't metal. They're noise. If bad noise music was
trendy, this would be the most popular record of all time. I'd rather listen
to P.O.D. than punish my ears mascocistally like this. The cheesy Cameo
funk bass lines do not fit at all with that noise. The drums and percussion
all sound like bad 80's Starship and half the drums sound like pre-programmed
beats for white people with no rhythm and can't even do the shameful
'white guy dance.' In 5th grade back in the early 80's a friend of mine
got one of those Casio keyboards with all the pre-programmed beats and
stuff and the drums sounds on the Midi's are the same ones from those Casio
keyboards for $69.99. One of the songs actually had a 60's Batman theme
song feel which is just wrong on so many levels. The song titles dont even
match with the songs themselves. These Midi songs should be put on an
album called "songs so horrendous you want to commit suicide" .
The best thing you could do is take a 10lb sledgehammer to every piece of
equipment and be done with it and put the equipment out of its misery.
I heard the composer is taking these songs on tour. You'll see him in
bowling alleys across the territory. America's denied a passport to the
Composer and labelled him an "Aural Terrorist." I couldnt find any nu-metal
trademarks on these songs, but there were several "listen to once and
destroy" warnings all over the place. Fingernails on a chalkboard is more
symphonic and stepping on cats and listening to them scream is more
musical.
After hearing this music, I'm now willing to give Celine Dion, Lionel Richie,
and Milli Vanilli another chance....And that's saying a lot.
Everyone's a critic, right Stun? This is just an opinion.
