Sadistic Metal Reviews

[DMR]

http://www.deathmetal.org/news/sadistic-metal-reviews-androgel-edition/

Who's ready for some scathing reviews of wimp metal? I don't know which review made me laugh harder, the Agalloch or the Opeth.

 

[Element_man]

Oh man, I live for this shit

 

[Element_man]

Swedish pyramid scheme acts like Tribulation, Repugnant, Ghost

 

[Diabolik]

I love this stuff too. really funny reviews.

 

[DMR]

Here's a new batch: http://www.deathmetal.org/news/sadistic-metal-reviews-crush-the-skull/

Melvins, Nachtmystium, Broken Hope, Sepultura, Twilight, and Gojira are all put to the sword. Cromlech and Laibach are also reviewed, but they get off easy!

 

[Element_man]

DMR, have you heard the Cromlech full length? It's miles better than the demo (with a new singer that sounds kind of like Hansi) though it might not be your thing

 

[DMR]

No, I haven't. The demo was only OK so I didn't check out the album. If it's a lot better, I'll give it a shot. I'll listen to a track or two later.

 

[Element_man]

Yeah it's definitely a step-up. They ended up having two singers on it. One of them (Hansi guy) is cool, the other guy isn't very good but he does the Doomsword thing and some folk may find him "charming" or some bullshit

Some tracks:
http://cromlechdoom.bandcamp.com/

 

[DMR]

I listened to the tracks on Bandcamp many more times than I was planning to. It's really good!

 

[SteelFireRecs]

Ill have some copies of the Cromlech album on the way this week

 

[Element_man]

Some poser pointers from Chicago's Weekend Nachos

http://www.revolvermag.com/news/wee...ns-that-you-are-a-poser-in-extreme-music.html

 

[Jasonic]

Some poser pointers from Chicago's Weekend Nachos

http://www.revolvermag.com/news/wee...ns-that-you-are-a-poser-in-extreme-music.html

Wow, I am not into them at all, but after reading that I might buy the entire WEEKEND NACHOS discography!!!! I agree 100% with everything he said.

The CAB TO VOLUME ratio thing is something that I seriously bet at least 50% of players truly do not understand. Not every head matches every cabinet.....for a reason!!!!!!!!

The glossy band photo thing is something I have bitched about for YEARS on various forums. Some agree, others don't. I always refer to this extremely disturbing premeditated promo photo of TRIVIUM:

 

[Master_Yoda77]

6. Playing in Weekend Nachos

 

[Element_man]

I got asked to write reviews and gig reports for a newer magazine and I thought that was pretty cool until the conversation went like this:

Them: "also head up there is a ton of thrash, doom and death metal that come through from smaller band and as of now has now even to look at those emails.

but be warned could be a ton not so good bands - and they are Euro bands also"

Me: "haha that's ok. You gotta spice things up with a negative review once in a while"
(I said this because I checked their website, and every review was 4/5 or higher)

Them: "oh we keep it positive - no reviewing of albums that suck - just don;t review them. constructive critisim."

"our high hits are due to so many bands sharing reviews and using reviews in the epks, social media etc."

"unlike many other media we are the good guys - indie bands don't need a bad review that they can not use. its worked well and people like it"



Fucking WEAK. This is what music journalism has come to, eh? Just a bunch of pussies holding each other's hands and stroking each other's cocks and/or egos. I fucking hate this shit.

 

[nomisofsiman]

I got asked to write reviews and gig reports for a newer magazine and I thought that was pretty cool until the conversation went like this:

Them: "also head up there is a ton of thrash, doom and death metal that come through from smaller band and as of now has now even to look at those emails.

but be warned could be a ton not so good bands - and they are Euro bands also"

Me: "haha that's ok. You gotta spice things up with a negative review once in a while"
(I said this because I checked their website, and every review was 4/5 or higher)

Them: "oh we keep it positive - no reviewing of albums that suck - just don;t review them. constructive critisim."

"our high hits are due to so many bands sharing reviews and using reviews in the epks, social media etc."

"unlike many other media we are the good guys - indie bands don't need a bad review that they can not use. its worked well and people like it"



Fucking WEAK. This is what music journalism has come to, eh? Just a bunch of pussies holding each other's hands and stroking each other's cocks and/or egos. I fucking hate this shit.

So basically they're whores. When I was in college, we had a guy write for us that would ALWAYS give things good marks when the bands would send him cds and we asked him why he did that. His response? I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Oy.

 

[TychoCelchu]

yeeesh. I write reviews every so often for a website and sometimes it's a negative one. I always think "they'll probably be upset or mad when they see this," but it's a disservice to the reader/listener if you act like everything is great when it isn't. On the same token, a positive review is thus genuinely rewarding.

 

[Jasonic]

Honestly, "reviews" are in the eye of the beholder.......

And it goes both ways, positive or negative.

For positive reviews, you have these two scearios:
1) Reviewer is simply trying to be nice and positive about everything
2) The Reviewer TRULY listened in full to the show or music and highlighted certain aspects and related it to something "truly" comparable, thus showing they actually "get" the music

For negative:
1) Reviewer basically says, "It sucks" with ZERO substance, thus proving they don't truly get the genre at all. The music may indeed truly suck, but they have nothing substantial to say why it sucks. In other words, they just didn't like it
2) Reviewer has some constructive criticism relating to the performance or recording. Usually picks out specific songs or instruments highlighting where improvements can be made.

Bottom line it comes down to the reader of the review. Some simply just wanna see 4 out of 5 stars and they are good to go. Others want more depth.

 

[Element_man]

It's doesn't make for a healthy scene, interesting writing or an interesting website when every review is positive and happy and shit. It's just boring.

 

[DMR]

If even mediocre bands get good reviews, when the fans buy those mediocre albums, they'll stop trusting the reviewers. And if you don't have to be good to get a good review or sell albums, you have no incentive to improve. A "positive-review-only" attitude doesn't help anyone, and is actually detrimental to the scene. But at least nobody's feelings get hurt.