Scientology - that's the one for me

[Spiff]

Gotta love these dudes. Here's a snippet from an article about how Katie Holmes is preggers:

Reports last week said the first-time mum will be giving birth in silence, in line with the strict beliefs of Scientology.

Huh?? How's she going to manage that? And what the hell sort of religion cares of a bird is noisy while squeezing out a human being?

http://entertainment.news.com.au/story/0,10221,16883491-10431,00.html

 

[Goreripper]

You can tell this is a "religion" founded by a man, can't you? A sexually-ambiguous, impotent man, at that.

 

[Shannow]

I still wonder who the father is, or whether the baby is a Tom Cruise Clone.

 

[Spiff]

I think it's L. Ron Hubbard, returned from the grave.

 

[Shannow]

It's a distinct possibility.

An avowed virgin, doesn't have sex with a guy who can't have kids anyway.

Must be the second coming.

 

[Southy]

 

[TinMan666]

I guess she's not allowed to scream "oh god get this thing out of me" during labour... she has to scream "OH L RON etc" instead.

 

[JonBonJovi]

she could get around it by having a cesearan if they are "allowed".Other wise by at least the fifth hour of hard labour she would really be wanting to scream.

 

[Southy]

she'll scream, and then repeal her "relegion" and tell Tom it's not his

 

[Mark]

"Tom, I'm pregnant!"

"But, you're a virgin and I can't have kids!"

"Praise L Ron, it's a miracle!"

 

[Goreripper]

Nope, cesarians aren't allowed. Scientlogists don't believe in drug use or surgery.

 

[Wrathchild]

What precisely do they believe in, apart from turning celebrities into even bigger blithering idiots than some of them are already?

I strongly recommend you all watch the Millennium episode "Jose Chung's Doomsday Defence" for one of the most blatant piss-takes of the whole farce. It's a miracle Darin Morgan didn't get sued .

W

 

[phlogiston]

From what I understand, it's basically that we're all possessed by the spirits of dead aliens (called Thetans) who are trying to get home again. That's how you can have different levels, by how close your Thetan is to home.

In a nutshell, that is. Nut, the the important part of that word.

 

[phlogiston]

http://www.xenu.com/ is a good site if you're interested. Points out all of the whackiness.

 

[phlogiston]

Ooh, reading that site myself now. We're not trying to get the Thetans home, we're trying to drive them out of us because they're the cause of all our misery!

 

[MeKaChrOme]

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

 

[Shannow]

What does the Flying Spaghetti Monster say about screaming during childbirth ?

 

[phlogiston]

Just checked the website, and it doesn't say anything about it. I'd imagine that if you were suitably attired in your pirate outfit that they'd be all for it, though.

 

[Stonewall]

This is so dumb. Why are the sexy ones always so stupid?

 

[Spiff]

I'm not THAT stupid...