Speedy Gonzales - Electric Stalker
Metal Heaven – Metal Heaven 00014 - 13/01/05
By Sam Brokenshaw
Oh. My. God. Talk about hate at first sight. The cover of this CD was enough to make me want to vomit and forgot guitar music even existed. I gather they like this kind of thing in Germany, but cheesy heavy metal really, really pisses me off.
We have harmonised vocals of the worst possibly variety, riffs Judas Priest threw in the bin after realising their lack of worth, cheesy sustained synth chords, Rob Halford impressions. In other words everything I hate about cheese metal. One would have hoped, by the year 2006 people would have realised sounding like Bon Jovi covering Judas Priest was a really, really bad idea. Obviously not. The level of hero worship for the Priest is just embarrassing, reducing this listener to a cringing mess screaming for it to stop. Just to add to the general feeling of mediocrity, the guitar sound is thinner than Calista Flockart after a week in the gym, the drums sound like cardboard boxes etc etc etc. On the title track things take an even more awful twist. now we're in aping Black Sabbath lyrical concepts replete with Ozzy impression vocals. Please, let it end! Unfortunately there's another 9 tracks yet. Here's a taster of some of the remaining song titles; "Free Like an Eagle", "Dominator" and that old chestnut, "Trial by Fire". I'd hope you can work out that this is not going anywhere fast, yet more horrible cheese metal Priest worship Ozzy borrowing shite.
I get the feeling that somewhere in Germany there's some kind of time vortex where spandex is yet to be the next big thing and everyone worships the kind of music that accompanied the Rocky movies. Please guys, if you must make this kind of shit, keep it to yourselves next time.
-10/10 (Yes, MINUS)
Metal Heaven Records Official Website
Metal Heaven – Metal Heaven 00014 - 13/01/05
By Sam Brokenshaw
Oh. My. God. Talk about hate at first sight. The cover of this CD was enough to make me want to vomit and forgot guitar music even existed. I gather they like this kind of thing in Germany, but cheesy heavy metal really, really pisses me off.
We have harmonised vocals of the worst possibly variety, riffs Judas Priest threw in the bin after realising their lack of worth, cheesy sustained synth chords, Rob Halford impressions. In other words everything I hate about cheese metal. One would have hoped, by the year 2006 people would have realised sounding like Bon Jovi covering Judas Priest was a really, really bad idea. Obviously not. The level of hero worship for the Priest is just embarrassing, reducing this listener to a cringing mess screaming for it to stop. Just to add to the general feeling of mediocrity, the guitar sound is thinner than Calista Flockart after a week in the gym, the drums sound like cardboard boxes etc etc etc. On the title track things take an even more awful twist. now we're in aping Black Sabbath lyrical concepts replete with Ozzy impression vocals. Please, let it end! Unfortunately there's another 9 tracks yet. Here's a taster of some of the remaining song titles; "Free Like an Eagle", "Dominator" and that old chestnut, "Trial by Fire". I'd hope you can work out that this is not going anywhere fast, yet more horrible cheese metal Priest worship Ozzy borrowing shite.
I get the feeling that somewhere in Germany there's some kind of time vortex where spandex is yet to be the next big thing and everyone worships the kind of music that accompanied the Rocky movies. Please guys, if you must make this kind of shit, keep it to yourselves next time.
-10/10 (Yes, MINUS)
Metal Heaven Records Official Website
