Steve Dawson

[WILKS]

STEVE USED LIVE NEAR A TRACTOR FACTORY.HIS HOBBIE WHEN HE WAS A KID WAS PLAYING WITH TOY TRACTORS.HE HAD POSTERS,MODELLS,SCRAP BOOKS AND ALL SORTS OF TARACTOR THINGS AROUND HIS BEDROOM.
FOR HIS 14 BIRTHDAY HIS PARENTS PAYED FOR TO VISIT THE FACTORY. WHILST ON THE VISIT STEVE WAS RAN OVER BY A TRACTOR AND BOTH HIS LEGS WERE BROKE.FROM THAT DAY ON HE HATED TRACTORS.
WHEN STEVE WAS 20 HE WAS IN A BAR CHATTING UP A BEUTIFUL BLONDE WHEN HE NOTICED HER EYES WATERING
"SORRY HAVE I SAID SOMETHING TO UPSET YOU" SAID STEVE.
"NO ITS JUST SMOKEY IN HERE REPLIED THE BLONDE.
WITH THIS STEVE STOOD UP AND SUCKED ALL THE AIR OUT OF THE ROOM AND BLEW IT OF THE PUB DOOR.
"WOW ARE YOU SUPERMAN asked the blond
"NO"SAID STEVE
"IM A........"










WAIT FOR IT







NEARLY









AN EX TRACTOR FAN. HOWS THAT PAX .

 

[Paxoman]

Very good wilks!

 

[Felamid]

Don´t ever consider being a stand-up comedian! It could affect your health (and looks)! I'm just concerned man...

 

[WILKS]

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE I SHALL TRY TO SPARE YOU THE PAIN IN FUTURE.

 

[Black Lagoon]

 

[METLHEDD]

oooh....that was bad....but I've heard way worse METL

 

[STEELTEMPEST]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AHA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.OH AND BY THE WAY HA HA.

 

[Crusader]

HA HA.

 

[WILKS]

A BLOKE HAS 10 MONKEYS ON THE BACK OF HIS LORRY WHICH HE HAS TO DELIVER TO CHESTER ZOO READY FOR THE OPENING OF THE NEW MONKEY CAGE.SUDDENLY HE BRAKES DOWN AND AFTER RINGING THE BRAKE DOWN SERVICE HE TOLD HE WILL HAVE TO 6 HOURS DUE A BIG CRASH.IN A PANIC HE OFFERS A DRIVER £100 TO TAKE THE MONKEYS TO THE ZOO . THE DRIVER AGREES AND THE FIRST DRIVER STARTS HIS LONG WAIT.2 HOURS LATER HE SEE THE DRIVER HE HAD PAID GOING DOWN THE OTHERSIDE OF THE ROAD WITH THE MOKEYS STILL ON THE BACK .HE FLAGS HIM DOWN." I GAVE YOU £100 TO TAKE THEM MONKEYS TO THE ZOO FOR ME WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"
" WELL I HAD £50 LEFT SO I AM TAKEING THEM TO ALTON TOWERS" SORRY

 

[Paxoman]

very good!

 

[Crusader]

HA HA.

 

[Sammi951]

Nice one Wilks...but don't give up the day job luv!!