"Our underhanded dealings with international trade companies ensures your new life partner arrives unharmed in a shipping container full of cheesy mail order merchandise".
I used to work at a warehouse that dealt with mail order junk and we always used to find empty packets of noodles and rice and stuff in the shipping containers and would always joke about mail order brides being smuggled in them and HomeCare, Damart and TVSN being fronts for a huge front for an international human trafficking ring.
Except one time a container turned up with a big gash in the side of it and my brother and I spent the whole day dropping lines from Aliens and Jurassic Park.