The Terlit Chronicles

[Reign in Acai]

New Thread Concept:

If youre taking a shit post your ruminations in this thread. Consider this a time capsule that we will unclog decades from now.

I dont have much to add to begin, other than I just watched two eps of The Ultimate Fighter and boooooy are there some emotional wrecks that cant outgrow their childhoods. Also a lot of fuckboy patty cake bonding this season. Need a Chris Leben type to stir up shit. Fucks shouldve been on the Contender Series if they want to suck each other off.

In other news, electricity is back on. Going to keep most food outside of poultry. Just cant mentally wrap my head around some unrefrigerated bird.

Also took a shit last week that came out like a hershey bar. Big ass clump that clung to my arse hair. This is the worst fuggglin type of shit. One of dem shit's that isnt fully percolated but you attempt to force out. They just dont have the propellant to vacate the intestinal confines.

Shitcuss, when you shit yourself, about to wipe. See y'all on the other side.

 

[NAD]

I only read Calvin y Hobbes books whilst taking a shit.

Anything less would be uncivilized.

 

[Reign in Acai]

Im no longer on the camode and cant be arsed to find my "Who Will Bear The Torch" thread.


1.3 mil views in 2 wks

At The Gates has 250k views for a vid thats been out 4 wks.

Definitely not a one off either. So this is the FUTURE of metal according to the kiddies. Atleast its not offensive, just utter tripe.

 

[J.]

eh. I dont understand the attraction to that stuff. sounds like something henrik would dig.

if i want just straight brutality, i will youtube suffocation

 

[Reign in Acai]

First thing I thought of was poor @Henrik Main. Though I know one hundred percent that he detests this shit. It's another case of bastardizing metal for profit. "Lets take these terlit vox, but just the right amount of terlit ye see. Were going to add some Hatebreed tough guy elements, and some symphonic Dummy Burger and PROFIT!"

CM recturd producer: "Lets meld whatever is en vogue, but just the right amount so all the A.D.H.D types can noodle in unison, but at varying crescendos."

This is musically clumpy shit caught on the tail winds of bunghair.

 

[dorian gray]

I laughed nonstop through this entire thread so far

 

[J.]

I need to take a shit, and Im at work. At least Im getting paid to drop a turd

Anyone else annoyed when youre taking a dump in a stall and someone gets in the stall next to you even though all the other ones are empty? It's like "dude, you wanna smell my shit?"

 

[Ellestin]

Have I already posted about the time I was trying to take a dump at the railway station in Dresden and some weird mumbling German dude flashed his dick through a circular opening in the panel. No shit. I mean, literally.

 

[einride]

that is what we in the business call a gloryhole

 

[SonOfNun]

Ingredients: Fragrance, Solubilizers, Emulsifiers, Stabilizer, Corrosion Inhibitor, Propellants

 

[SonOfNun]

Im no longer on the camode and cant be arsed to find my "Who Will Bear The Torch" thread.


1.3 mil views in 2 wks

At The Gates has 250k views for a vid thats been out 4 wks.

Definitely not a one off either. So this is the FUTURE of metal according to the kiddies. Atleast its not offensive, just utter tripe.

I think their vocalist went viral so most of the people watching that are probably just gawkers. Though it is apparent that the -core nonsense is in vogue (still).

 

[Krilons Resa]

That dude was hoping Ellestin was a glorywhore hahahaha

If I noticed a hole in the wall in a stall, I would exit stage right PRONTO. After I had shook off the brief inclination to stick my dick through it, of course.

"The bastardization of a good poop through the association of faggotry"

 

[Bloopy]

Since you asked nicely, I'll give it a go. I'm away from home at the moment. Eating plenty of junk. I'm gonna wander to a mall but since I'm slow to get ready I get to bastardise the much more comfortable motel toilet instead. Both it and I are still recovering from an explosive episode the day before yesterday. First time eating onion kulcha so I blame that, delicious but deadly.

I was about to watch a race of the Australian Supercars on my laptop before that bomb hit, so I got the genius idea to line the entertainment up near the throne. Something I might eventually do more often. I already took long sessions and the medicine I'm on makes it worse. I like to apply patience to give the poorly-formed stragglers time to clamber out.

 

[Henrik Main]

First thing I thought of was poor @Henrik Main. Though I know one hundred percent that he detests this shit. It's another case of bastardizing metal for profit. "Lets take these terlit vox, but just the right amount of terlit ye see. Were going to add some Hatebreed tough guy elements, and some symphonic Dummy Burger and PROFIT!"

Haha! I get why you and J. thought of me, but you'd be correct, seeing as I abhor that shite.

 

[Reign in Acai]

Have I already posted about the time I was trying to take a dump at the railway station in Dresden and some weird mumbling German dude flashed his dick through a circular opening in the panel. No shit. I mean, literally.

How did you respond? I hope at the bare minimum you threw a witticism his way.








...this is where you tell me "I wouldve but my mouth was full." <badabing>

 

[Reign in Acai]

Just been sitting on the shitter for 14 minutes, then I thought about all of you.

Grabbed some chicken enchiladas fron faggo WeHo an hr ago, shit already has my gastro intestinal screaming as if they were perforated by some refried.

Hate when youre shitting but still have a little juice left in the tank. Then your asshole gets its second wind and youre stuck pushing out the leave-ins. Could probably sit here for a good while longer, but going to cut it with a wipe deep dive. A soda pop would probably help.

 

[Reign in Acai]

What in the blue hell is THiS SHiT?!?!

Sadly, the vocals remind me of Dornenreich at times.

This is beyond putrid. Click play if you have the balls or are a little backed up.

 

[Reign in Acai]

This is the only tolerable SOAD song, shit's catchy.

I used to abhor Armenians growing up. A couple towns over lies the largest population of Armos outside of Armenian itself. If you get into a scrap with one, prepare to fight 50. Got into a car chase as a teenage miscreant after doing an act of unnamed mischief. Fugg pulled a gat out and we high tailed. Bud who was driving was shitting bricks, as my other buddy huddled for Dear Life in the back of the F150.

Fast forward a few decades and I dig these boastful vunts (SOAD still blows). The fact that theyre always warring with those mussie cockroaches is very endearing to my soul. Kill em All My Baklava loving bruthas.

 

[Bloopy]

I'd argue that Aerials is quite a bit more tolerable. My favourite tracks of theirs are B.Y.O.B. and Peephole, but there's an irritative element to those ones keeping the listener a grogan's length from just squatting there in tolerant enjoyment.

 

[Reign in Acai]

I just arrived to work and my asshole was puckered, innards percolating. Eiither had some bad Cabeza tacos or too much Korean ribs this past Sat.

Asshole has been a flaming fountain of bilious butt offerings. Anyhow, clock in, head to the camode first thing. (2 mins ago mind you.)

"Woooooooooooooooo ohhhhhh"

Walk into a camode occupied by a dude taking a shit. "" wooooooooooooo I forgot to lock the door."

"No worries."

<fuck I hope this other one is unoccupied I think to myself>

Thankfully it is and the soft serve is running. Probably shouldnt have had all that coffee on the way in.

Watched The Godfather earlier, first time in adulthood. Really good shit. Part 2 on deck for later this week.