This is easily the funniest thing I've read all week...

[EricT]

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/a76432/cruise-to-build-alien-attack-bunker.html

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are planning to build a £5 million bunker under their Colorado home to protect them from alien attacks, reports claim.

A source close to Cruise - who is a leading Scientologist - said the actor is to erect a "self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years".

The bunker will reportedly include a high-tech air-purification system and storage space for supplies and survival equipment.

Followers of Scientology are thought to believe that an evil galactic overlord named Xenu is planning to invade the planet in an act of revenge.

 

[Will Bozarth]

hey, whatever. even if aliens dont attack, they have a place to fuck where people wont bother them

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

She has nice tittayties.

 

[slashvanyoung]

So how is he going to get into that bunker, when he never made it out of the closet?

 

[Will Bozarth]

eh. that joke would have been funny before he married the hot piece of ass that is Katie Holmes

 

[slashvanyoung]

eh. that joke would have been funny before he married the hot piece of ass that is Katie Holmes

PR-Stunt... a good one

 

[EricT]

Yeah, I'd definitely ram it in Holmes poopshoot.

 

[Kellan]

Yeah, I'd definitely ram it in Holmes poopshoot.

Xenu was supposed to hit that shit. That's why he's pissed.

 

[Lunar Still]

Scientology never fails to amuse me....yes, even the deaths. If you're dumb enough to get involved with that shit, your life has become comedy fodder.

 

[lad]

Scientology never fails to amuse me....yes, even the deaths. If you're dumb enough to get involved with that shit, your life has become comedy fodder.

+Infinity

 

[EricT]

On the forum I stole this from, we're amidst a conversation about who is stupider: Scientologist's who build shelters from Xenu, Christians who build shelters for the impending rapture, or Muslims who blow themselves up in the name of Allah.

It's a tight race.

 

[Necromunchkin]

Even retardedness comes in a variety of flavors.

 

[Kvlt Wench]

I have a friend who was raised in Scientology, and it's really not as weird as everyone makes it out to be. Certainly no weirder than any established religion.

 

[Necromunchkin]

My former step-mother converted to scientology. Not sure she bought into the science fiction aspect.. but it did seem to work as a belief system to reinforce her normal bitchy cunt behavior.

 

[EricT]

Scientology just has the most amusing story. Kinda makes me want to become one. Just so I can hear more about this story.

 

[Lunar Still]

Clearly your friend isn't a Level 6 Space Pilot yet, Isabel.

 

[neal]

Christians who build shelters for the impending rapture

why would good christians need to do this? only the sinners will be left behind to face Armageddon.

 

[EricT]

It's in order to protect themselves from the initial riots that will become when the final signs of the rapture are displayed or something.

The nuts who build shelters from nuclear war out of school buses added into the mix. Trying to figure out if they can count as our Atheist group by doing google searches on some of their names, hahah.

 

[Cat5Messiah]

Fucking Scientologists....

 

[Burti]

Katie Holmes STILL has a great rack.