this is pretty funny

my fav by far:

Dear Mr Robustellini
Congratulations on your surname. Beyond that I imagine you have few qualities. You are correct to assume that I do not remember meeting you.
'Fruit booter' you may be, but nonetheless an unmemorable one. I am disappointed to learn that your friends think I suck. However I shall not lose sleep over this - as I assume that they are a bunch of cunts.
Tony Hawks
 
Fabian

Your English is werry good.

I’m not surprised you play my game every day. I’m told that in Switzerland, unless you ski or launder money, there’s fuck all else to do.

Tony Hawks