Two incomplete pieces of music

[Xarshi]

I woke up this morning/afternoon (about two hours ago ) and decided to start writing and recording something. So I have two pieces of music (I don't say songs because technically it has to have words that are sung to be a song).

They are really sketchy as I wrote both of them in a very short period of time. The first one took about an hour, the second took about thirty minutes. I'd really like some tips on how to improve my quality, as I don't like the quality I have right now with my stuff.

Link to the first piece

Link to the second piece

(Ignore horrible diminished sweeping at the end of the second one... that's not really part of the piece...)

I was very sloppy in both as the first was recorded at like 3am and the other right when I woke up. No excuse, so sorry

Please listen to the entire things I would love that. And logic didn't export the second one right so it stops in the middle of a diminished-ish scale thing right before a nice chord where the two leads are in fifths >.> Wish it worked, but I didn't notice until after uploading.

Also, these are for my band which is going unnamed at the moment. We haven't released anything at all so it wouldn't really matter. But if you can offer some advice for the music as well that'd be cool (but please, no "NO BREAKDOWNS!!!" )

Anyways, my rant is over. Please give me some tips! Sorry if in the wrong forum as well n_n

 

[Xarshi]

Any feedback or anything? Sorry to bump, just noticed 29 people viewed and no one had any feedback whatsoever >.>

 

[di0de]

i don't really listen to a lot of death metal so i can't really critique on the actual composition, though i think the 2nd track makes more sense musically.


As for your sound, you need to put a bass in there to fill it out and get a feel for where every instrument sits. I used to just record my guitars and then put drums to them with EZ, but then i decided to go buy a cheap bass guitar to fill out the low end.

The quality of my recordings since then has improved dramatically, it helps with your compositions because you might normally play a chord on your guitar, now you can use a distorted bass to fill that area out and use the guitar to add some higher notes, or reinforce the bass noise, etc....

i have been tempted to upload a couple incomplete tracks here for critique, but i think that everyone will tell me exactly what i am telling you, finish the composition off and then ask for advice, if you have to ask for advice halfway through the writing process then maybe you aren't feeling the vibe of the song coming together and should move on to a new piece.

apart from that i think your guitar playing is pretty kick arse!

 

[Xarshi]

I just feel that my guitar tone could use improvement as well as drums. As for the bass, I only have a four string and I tune my guitar to drop A. I didn't feel like tuning a 4 string down that low, so I'm waiting for my legit bassist to come along >.>

But thanks, I'll wait until I get a more completed track finished. Which actually I finished the second one. The first one... idk, was just kinda there. lol.

 

[di0de]

yeah tone all really depends on what you like personally, do you want to sound like anyone in particular or do you just want to find a really nice sound that works well with your compositions and could be your signature tone.

My favourite band is tool and i love their tones, however for my compositions i have been using the "Bring me to Life" preset on Gearbox and making slight modifications to give it the sound that I want and make it a bit more personal to me.

I think that if you gave us a particular tone you are trying to achieve then we could help with where you need to improve to reach it.

 

[slayercannibalsuffohead]

I dont want to appear rude here, but were you pissed or stoned when you played those single lead notes.(first piece). I ask this because the slow single noted stuff sounds like someone who has just started learning guitar, but at the end you do a few runs that sound really good, accomplished like. Dont mean to offend, just asking.

 

[slayercannibalsuffohead]

My fuck up dude. Apologies. just read the second part of your post. (about to listen to the second piece).

 

[Xarshi]

Don't apologize n_n. No, I don't even know wtf those are honestly. I was even aware they weren't good.

I'm uploading a new version of the second one. I've pretty much just stopped with the first. I didn't like it very much.