i found a song on my computer and put vocals to it.
not sure what band.
all exhale.
shitty mic and youtube butchered the quality but i made it as clean as possible.
Indeed a better recording would make it easier to give you some feedback. The higher parts sounds a bit painfull to me, you shouldn't force your voice to much (even in this aggressive kind of vocal technique).
I am not that familiar with grunt/scream techniques (Only with clean and opera techniques) so mabybe some one else cane give you some advise about that.