we are all goths

[Karmic]

http://www.mk-magazine.com/news/archives/001567.php

 

[MajestikMøøse]

oh no, I better go sacrifice some children to satan now.

 

[ScientistOfDarkness]

My interest in the bible *has* been waning. I am known to enjoy a nice bowl of Count Chocula.

*shakes head to music*

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.

I like that list. Jesus is my teammate!

-Complains of boredom.

Every teenager is a goth.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA COUNT CHOCULA FOR SATAAAAAAAAAAAN

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

But what if the games have BOTH?! What then, Church Lady? What do we doooo?

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

Goths don't headbang, fag.

Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.

Every teenager is a goth, part 2.

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

No no no, it's other way around, if your child is a goth THEN they're gay.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

The ebil Kvlt ov Artistole! And of course, that satanic idol Buddha.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

I personally support anyone walking around with an "I'm a goth" pin getting whacked into senselessness by nuns with rulers.

-Claims to be a goth.

...nevermind whole post, I have just decided this is a joke. Nobody can be this stupid.

Can they?

 

[NinjaKitten]

hahahaha, Im definietly so goth, Im dead.

 

[Det Som Engang Var]

Awwwww, cool kitty. Erm >_>

I saw this a few months ago its got to be a joke or I'd be one of the biggest role playing Buddhist goths here

 

[Seasons_Of_Destruction]

According to this, I'm a super-goth. Woo. Yay for my Satanic ways. Fucking stupid shit.

 

[Necromunchkin]

So, I'm an ostrogoth barbarian; you know, pillager of empires and such. I wonder how I qualify as these here "goths?"

 

[neal]

...nevermind whole post, I have just decided this is a joke. Nobody can be this stupid.

Can they?

'fraid so.

 

[MajestikMøøse]

Gothic times were actually some of the most spiritual times of the Christian era.

 

[DEADHEART]

So that list means every teenager needs to be locked up in a mental ward.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

"-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts."
What if its a Christian rock band?

"-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols."
Hmm what about a silver cross?

"-Drinks alcohol."
Jesus drank alcohol, was he a goth?

"-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer."
Nerds and MMoRPG players are all goths!

The person who wrote this just needs to get laid imo.

 

[Nightshade]

OK.... hmmm... That's just, ...wow. I think they sorta missed the mark somewhat. I think my favorite part is where they lumped sports and church in together. I think I'll go grab a baseball bat and have some devotional time...

 

[the_drip]

"-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts."
What if its a Christian rock band?

"-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols."
Hmm what about a silver cross?

"-Drinks alcohol."
Jesus drank alcohol, was he a goth?

"-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer."
Nerds and MMoRPG players are all goths!

The person who wrote this just needs to get laid imo.

them and me both.


hmmmm I guess I"m goth because I want to boink the chick at dairy queen.

 

[Anvil]

Please seek immediate attention through counselling,
prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if
five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

hahaha

Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

this one also made me laugh

Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

what about lego island?

Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

since when is Philosophy, Paganism, Hinduism, and Buddhism "dangerous cult religions"

-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

requests time alone and quietness to talk to evil spirits... are all teenagers now goths?

i betcha the one who wrote this is a roman catholic.

 

[the_drip]

i betcha the one who wrote this is a roman catholic.

That is a really ignorant thing to say.


read up on your fundamentalist christians please. Roman Catholics don't really give a shit. They did 400 years ago but its not their problem any more.

This looks like the work of a southern baptist/ evangelist.

 

[Anvil]

That is a really ignorant thing to say.


read up on your fundamentalist christians please. Roman Catholics don't really give a shit. They did 400 years ago but its not their problem any more.

This looks like the work of a southern baptist/ evangelist.

i disagree. i grew up a roman catholic, and i went to a roman catholic school. this is exactly something they would come up with. i remember having a lecture very similar to this about being a satanist.

 

[Loner]

I had some comments, but it looks like Pyrus covered all the bases.

 

[NinjaKitten]

i disagree. i grew up a roman catholic, and i went to a roman catholic school. this is exactly something they would come up with. i remember having a lecture very similar to this about being a satanist.

My dad is a roman catholic, but I dont think hes a very good one. Hes one of the "I dont give a shit" types as previously mentioned.

 

[WhiteBeastofWotan]

since when is Philosophy, Paganism, Hinduism, and Buddhism "dangerous cult religions"

They consider anything that contradicts their beliefs as dangerous.
They are the scum of the universe, the people who i actually would be for the mass "cleansing" of.