I stole this from someone at ubermetal.com which the guy at the message board admitted it was from Iridium Apes comic and art forum which he posted on aswell. Although it was probobly stolen from somewhere else..
anyways
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How
much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars,
and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money, money the government took from you to build roads
for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
suffered a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
anyways
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How
much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars,
and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
money, money the government took from you to build roads
for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
suffered a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
funny stuff
