quaint, old-time snake story:
my father and grandfather took my cousins and i to a country reservoir to fish one weekend. it was about a 20 minute drive outside of an already rural town - still can't figure out what the rationale was, due to the fact that we were equipped with fisher price plastic fishing poles and bread dough for bait - but anyhow, we were warned to watch out for the cracks in the substation's cement platform, because there were SNAKES INNEM.
sure enough, after 10 minutes of fruitless non-fishing (some sort of diversionary tactic?), on the way back to the van, someone ventured too close to a giant rupture in the concrete, and i recall, in detail, a massive snake, or group of snakes, leaping out with a psuedo-strike and then looping quickly back into the crack. fearsome shit, i say. fearsome. 3 kids and two adults running full tilt back to the van like a gaggle of spooked cavepeople...
SNAKES ARE NO SABRETOOTHS