50 Things To Do In an Elevator

Maskim_Xul

Vampiric Lover
Aug 2, 2003
44
5
8
44
Essex
www.geocities.com
50 Things To Do In an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers thatthis is your "personal space."
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, allof you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air inthere?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then actembarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to callyou Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hearthe penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got newsocks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motionsickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" andmove to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
 
:lol:

One of my main ambitions is when I reach old age to go around in public pretending to be completely mad. Some of those things sound like the things I should do. :D Ah, how I long to get on a bus and start shouting "Buggrit, dang the twigger f'r'a bang at the fusel, and shrimp, 'cos the worm's on the other boot!! See if 'e don't..." and then pretend to fall asleep. *sigh*