an introduction to greg's new (temporary) place of employment

Baliset

guitar deity
Jul 31, 2002
7,498
5
38
45
New England
www.maudlinofthewell.com
Hello Greg,

Thank you for joining the team here at Sun Life Financial! We hope that your time spent with us will be a rewarding step towards you achieving your goals both as a person and as a professional.

We would like to point out to you the various amenities at your disposal here at Sun Life.

We have both a coffee shop and a full cafeteria run by Aramark dining services providing wonderfully delicious food at very reasonable prices! And should you spill some ketchup on your work clothes, don't worry! We have a full service dry cleaner on the premises to attend to any mishaps or general laundering you may require!

We also encourage you to take an interest in our on-site gym so that before work or after work you can prepare for the day ahead of you or de-stress from your daily routines and take a moment to enhance your body. For a strong body fosters a strong mind and more energy for your work!

Also, even as a temporary employee here at Sun Life, you will always have access to the employee parking garage at no extra charge, or if you don't drive we have a free shuttle to and from the Riverside T stop on the "D" Line of the Green Line.

You see at Sun Life we want to make sure that our employees have everything they need at their disposal so that they do not need to leave our campus at any time. And we want you to feel safe and part of our family.

To that extent, let us explain the security procedures you are required to take part in in order to create a safe, happy, content atmosphere here in our offices. No visitors may be allowed on the premises unless granted permission and a visitor's pass from the security office.

As well, you are required to keep your name badge on your person at all times as every door in Sun Life is equipped with an image scanner which will only open the door for you after recognizing the picture on your badge.

This goes for exiting the offices as well as the doors are always locked to keep our employees safe at all times and you cannot gain access outside of your office without your name badge being scanned.

If you are worried about any computer viruses which may infect your workspace and create a cut in your productivity then worry no more! At Sun Life we make sure that before any employee access the internet, they are logged into a privately viewed network so that Sun Life's security team (WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL) may monitor all internet activites of our employees. As well, when you are signed into your e-mail account you are also logged into the secure Sun Life Network which monitors all e-mail acitvity to prevent unwanted viruses or personal e-mails to interfere(WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL) with your daily productivity.

So take care of your mind, body, and soul here at Sun Life as we always have our employees' best interest at heart(WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL) and you can rest at knowing that your day will be spent in the most state-of-the-art facilities for you to access during your hopefully productive workday. Thank you for choosing Sun Life!

WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL!

Sincerely,

Sun Life Financial Management
 
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guys i think they do know i posted this because when i tried to access UM at work today i got a message that said the message board was blocked because it violates company policy and that i would have to ask IT for "permission" to view it.

ps. i totally posted this from my home last night which means i MUST be being followed!
 
it would've been cool if they showed the ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US video doing orientation. i mean i assume they didn't, since you'd probably say so if they did.