Another Joke

[Anthrax_Mosher]

A lady places a personal ad in the paper that reads "Looking For a man who
won't beat me, won't run out on me, and is good in bed." Days later her
doorbell rings, and she opens the door to find a man with no arms or legs.
"I'm here in response to your personal ad," he says. "I don't have arms, so I
can't beat you. "And I don't have legs, so i can't walk out on you." "But I need a good lover too." she replies. He says "I rang the doorbell, didn't I.

 

[johnnieCzech]

A guy enters the church and kneels before the crucifix. He says in a weeping voice: "Dear Jesus, everybody keeps tellinh me I´m an asshole, even though I don´t think so. Could you please help me out." Suddenly, Jesus says: "Get me out of this cross and I´ll tell you why they say it." A guy removes the first nails. Jesus waves his hands in the air and screams: "Legs first you asshole!"