Why don't you sit right back and I, I may tell you a tale. A tale of three little pigs and a big bad wolf...
Well the first little piggy, he was kinda hicky
Spent most of his days just a-dreamin' of the city
Then one day he bought a guitar
He moved to Hollywood to become a star
Living on the farm he knew nothing of the city
Built his house out fo straw, what a pity
Then one day, jammin' on some chords
Along came the wolf, knockin' on his door
Chorus:
Little pig, little pig, let me in! (not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!) x2
Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in x4
Well the second little piggy, he was kinda stoked,
He spent most of his days just a-ganja smokin'
Hoppin' and a-boppin' down on Venice Beach
Gettin' paid money for religious speech
Built his shelter from what he garbage picked
Mostly made up of old cans and sticks
Then one day he was crankin' up a Marley
Along came the wolf on his big bad Harley
(Chorus)
The third little piggy, the grade-A student
His daddy was a rock star named Pig Nugent
Earned his master's degree from Harvard college
Built his house from his architect's knowledge
A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills
Daddy's rock stardom paid for the bills
Then one day came the old house smasher
The big bad wolf, the little piggy slasher
(Chorus)
The big bad wolf, well he huffed and he puffed all that he could
And lo and behold, the little piggy's house stood
"It's made out of concrete!" the little piggies shouted
The wolf just growled as he pouted
So they called nine-eleven, like any piggy would
They sent out RRRAMBOOO!!! just as fast as they could
"Yo, wolf-face! I'm your worst nightmare! Your ass is mine!"
Well the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see
And that's the end of the story for you and me
But still, give a listen, you just may
Hear the big wolf and little piggies say...
(Chorus)
"And the moral of the story is: that bands with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show!"