Dearest Kitty Star,

Uh dudes... how praytell do I post on the Interweb if I'm at Home Depot or in a museum and I'm too cheap to pay for Internet service on my cellphone? It's a frame up.

I believe that Alex observed my mannerisms and made a fake that looked like it was me pretending to be him. It's either that or Kitty Star. She accuses me of some fucked up shit in relation to him.