I'd like to get some opinions on some of my writing and figure this is a good place to go for that. I'm always open to suggestions and critiques.
The first piece, which is rather short, I wrote in December. The second I just wrote last night.
Cognicycle
Within the confines of the mind there lives a creature of deceit. Moving nimbly in between thoughts, it carefully dictates the workings of the subconscious. Slowly but surely it spins the silk of desire, building the framework for suffering. Beginning to intertwine fantasy with impulse, logic fades into the dark recesses of the psyche. As it weaves its web of inevitable pain, a notion of clarity flutters by, only to become ensnared. Injected with the venom of lie, it plummets into chasms of ideals long forgotten. Eventually a seemingly myriad wave of epiphany sweeps across the dreamscape, casting the sinister thing and its prodigious abode into purgatory. Order is restored to the process of thought. Clarity reigns supreme, but not forevermore. For the seed of doubt can never be fully purged. All in due time, the cycle will continue, and the light will be veiled once more.
Mirrors
You swing the door open and step inside. You walk down the narrow corridor lined with mirrors. At first you aren't aware of the mirrors, but after a few short steps you begin to glance to your side, seeing your reflection. As you move along, the mirrors slowly begin to distort your reflection. You pass by two young women. One is beautiful and slender. She gazes helplessly at a short and rather large woman. On the opposite wall of the corridor, is the other. This one is quite the opposite of the first, unsightly and overweight. She however, sees a gorgeous, shapely figure looking back at her. Past these two are a three average looking young men. They are all taking looks at each other's reflections. The boys on either side appear in the mirrors to be slightly larger, significantly the head. They both seem quite pleased with themselves. The center reflection shows a wiry figure. This young man seems to be greatly disappointed, the laughs of those on either side of him compounding this feeling.
Ahead of you is now a group of young men and women. They are looking into a new assortment of mirrors. Some are foggy, some rippled, and some kaleidoscope-like among others. They seem to be having a genuinely good time. Although, you notice a few aren't having the best of times. One man standing there, looks tired and disheveled. Another is obviously exaggerating his enjoyment. As you approach the crowd you notice two or three of the people aren't interested in this section of mirrors. They are simply talking amongst themselves. Those on the far side seem to be making their way further down the corridor, for one reason or another. You decide to bypass the crowd and continue along the corridor.
You find yourself at a point of divergence. The corridor now forks into three paths. The corridor to the right is brightly lit. In it stand people who are fairly content with what they see in the mirrors. Most of these mirrors create multiple miniature reflections of the viewers that seem to grow larger farther along the path. You find this trail to contain the most viewers. You begin to walk towards it but take a glance down the other halls. The left hand corridor is dimly lit. The mirrors show enlarged reflections of the viewers. The people on this path all seem to be pleased with what they see. Realizing that this seems to be a pleasing road, you enter into it. You notice the sound of laughter, not mocking laughter but a genuinely happy laughter. When the sound meets the ears of those in the corridor, faces turn sour and almost angry. You are now rethinking taking this causeway and opt to investigate the center corridor. As you travel down the comfortably lit pathway, you look to either side. The mirrors to your left and right are semi-transparent. You see yourself without distortion. You also can see those in the adjacent halls. You stroll along this path leisurely and thoughtfully.
You slowly grow exhausted and your pace slows. The mirrors do not display the focus they previously had and are gradually turning opaque. Finally, you find yourself at an arched door. At first you are reluctant to open the door. You reflect on what you've seen throughout this long walk. Part of you does not want to move onward, but you resolve that one cannot dwell in a hall of mirrors forever. Grasping the knob and drawing a deep breath, you slowly open the door and move through the soffit.
The first piece, which is rather short, I wrote in December. The second I just wrote last night.
Cognicycle
Within the confines of the mind there lives a creature of deceit. Moving nimbly in between thoughts, it carefully dictates the workings of the subconscious. Slowly but surely it spins the silk of desire, building the framework for suffering. Beginning to intertwine fantasy with impulse, logic fades into the dark recesses of the psyche. As it weaves its web of inevitable pain, a notion of clarity flutters by, only to become ensnared. Injected with the venom of lie, it plummets into chasms of ideals long forgotten. Eventually a seemingly myriad wave of epiphany sweeps across the dreamscape, casting the sinister thing and its prodigious abode into purgatory. Order is restored to the process of thought. Clarity reigns supreme, but not forevermore. For the seed of doubt can never be fully purged. All in due time, the cycle will continue, and the light will be veiled once more.
Mirrors
You swing the door open and step inside. You walk down the narrow corridor lined with mirrors. At first you aren't aware of the mirrors, but after a few short steps you begin to glance to your side, seeing your reflection. As you move along, the mirrors slowly begin to distort your reflection. You pass by two young women. One is beautiful and slender. She gazes helplessly at a short and rather large woman. On the opposite wall of the corridor, is the other. This one is quite the opposite of the first, unsightly and overweight. She however, sees a gorgeous, shapely figure looking back at her. Past these two are a three average looking young men. They are all taking looks at each other's reflections. The boys on either side appear in the mirrors to be slightly larger, significantly the head. They both seem quite pleased with themselves. The center reflection shows a wiry figure. This young man seems to be greatly disappointed, the laughs of those on either side of him compounding this feeling.
Ahead of you is now a group of young men and women. They are looking into a new assortment of mirrors. Some are foggy, some rippled, and some kaleidoscope-like among others. They seem to be having a genuinely good time. Although, you notice a few aren't having the best of times. One man standing there, looks tired and disheveled. Another is obviously exaggerating his enjoyment. As you approach the crowd you notice two or three of the people aren't interested in this section of mirrors. They are simply talking amongst themselves. Those on the far side seem to be making their way further down the corridor, for one reason or another. You decide to bypass the crowd and continue along the corridor.
You find yourself at a point of divergence. The corridor now forks into three paths. The corridor to the right is brightly lit. In it stand people who are fairly content with what they see in the mirrors. Most of these mirrors create multiple miniature reflections of the viewers that seem to grow larger farther along the path. You find this trail to contain the most viewers. You begin to walk towards it but take a glance down the other halls. The left hand corridor is dimly lit. The mirrors show enlarged reflections of the viewers. The people on this path all seem to be pleased with what they see. Realizing that this seems to be a pleasing road, you enter into it. You notice the sound of laughter, not mocking laughter but a genuinely happy laughter. When the sound meets the ears of those in the corridor, faces turn sour and almost angry. You are now rethinking taking this causeway and opt to investigate the center corridor. As you travel down the comfortably lit pathway, you look to either side. The mirrors to your left and right are semi-transparent. You see yourself without distortion. You also can see those in the adjacent halls. You stroll along this path leisurely and thoughtfully.
You slowly grow exhausted and your pace slows. The mirrors do not display the focus they previously had and are gradually turning opaque. Finally, you find yourself at an arched door. At first you are reluctant to open the door. You reflect on what you've seen throughout this long walk. Part of you does not want to move onward, but you resolve that one cannot dwell in a hall of mirrors forever. Grasping the knob and drawing a deep breath, you slowly open the door and move through the soffit.
