Fat Woman in Dead Electric Store Cart

[lizard]

I was in the supermarket snack aisle and this really fat woman was in one of those electric carts but it had gone dead. She was yelling out, "Hello! Does anyone work here? Help Me!"

 

[xfer]

 

[lizard]

sweet! you're all set for shopping!

 

[xfer]

no basket on our Gimpmobile. nor cupholder.

 

[lizard]

whose is it?

 

[xfer]

my roommate's! well, his girlfriend's grandmother's, technically, but it's his now.

 

[xfer]

 

[FuSoYa]

I seriously thought the thread title was "Fat Dead Woman in Electric Store cart" for the past couple hours, and just realized the error now.

I thought, damn, with the double murder and now this, Lizard's having a dangerous week.

 

[FuSoYa]

Actually I suppose that final thought could still apply.

 

[FuSoYa]

incidentally, what did you do?

 

[xfer]

yeah, i thought you'd stumbled upon some corpse-in-a-cart at first, myself.

 

[The Dope]

I was wondering what a Dead Electric Store was at first. I thought it was something really cool that we don't have around here.

 

[lizard]

I taunted her with pithy cries.

nah, seriously, I looked down the next couple of aisles and saw some kid who worked there and he went and got someone. I don't know why it is but I'm like some kind of obesity magnet, I'm always trapped behind fat people either waddling/sauntering down the middle of the aisle, lurching from side to side like a tramp steamer in heavy seas so that I can't get past them, or behind a fat person in a cart.

usually in my neighborhood there are domestic disputes, yelling, cursing...sometimes people getting busted for distribution. but this was a whole new thing. it sounds funny to use the phrase "mean streets of Columbus Ohio" but its becoming increasingly true.

 

[avi]

wow, I *too* read that as a dead fat woman

 

[FalseTodd]

Me three.

 

[Stultus]

There's too much info in the title, leading to confusion. "Fat Woman in Broken Cart" would have been much simpler to understand. Hire an editor, Lizard.

 

[lizard]

if I have confused you all with my muddled syntax, then my job here is done!

CONFUSE-A-CAT SVCS, LTD

 

[azal]

I would have probably tried to rape her.

 

[IanDork107]

That is a great picture.

 

[lizard]

I take heed of your advice, dear mr. stultus. I am frequently afflicted with disquieting bouts of silly frivolous verbosity, and I let my wings spread wide in the gloriosity that is the confusing language in which we speak.